I’m bored.
I’m bored with the conversation that nobody is having.
I’m bored with the news, or the fake news, or whatever the hell it is that is being spewed 24 hours a day by allegedly reputable sources as well as on countless social media outlets by everyday hacks.
I’m bored with the sensationalized coverage of the Hollywood sex scandals, only to be swept aside for the more riveting story of yet another mass shooting which will become one more tragedy that we will “never forget.”
I’m bored with hashtags, temporary profile pics, sit-ins, walk-outs, marches, thoughts and prayers.
Because nobody is listening!
Everybody is too busy taking selfies.
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I keep having flashbacks to when I was a kid growing up. My mother’s words of wisdom keep echoing in my head all these years later.
“Well, what did you do to provoke your brother?”
“You worry about Steven.”
“Live by the Golden Rule.”
It’s so simple, really. So utterly and completely basic. Yet here we are in a nation out of control, focusing on all the wrong things—fingers locked, loaded, and ready to point blame on someone other than ourselves. From the top down, we have lost a true sense of accountability. Nobody wants to take ownership of their own actions…or inactions.
We have children riddled with bullets and everyone points a finger at the NRA. We point fingers at the politicians accepting bribes from the NRA. We divert attention from the NRA by pointing towards mental health issues while the current president reverses a law sought to minimize guns in the hands of troubled souls. State and local governments shock us with their decisions on gun control in the midst of mayhem while children, yes children…survivors, begin organizing rallies in response. It’s total chaos. Everyone is screaming, but no one is listening.
No one is asking, “What did I do to provoke this situation?” No one is asking, “What have I taught my children?” or “What haven’t I taught them?” No one is looking within and wondering how they could have treated that troubled soul differently so that, maybe, they wouldn’t have felt so alone and excluded in this world. No one is questioning why troubled souls are being prescribed medications to mask ailments (medications with side-effects far worse than the originating malady) rather than listening to their woes and validating their existence.
Enter the irony of, “The Selfie” and the symbolism of filters. Contrary to the title, “Selfies” are not intended for the self; they are created with beautifying filters to portray an image of a better self to others. Narcissistic selfies are, in essence, “Fake News.”
As much as we all seem to love taking pics of ourselves, nobody is truly comfortable looking in the mirror.
Truly looking within is difficult work.
Herein lies the problem with The United States, with our civil rights, with our sexism and the #MeToo movement, with our police brutality and the #BlackLivesMatter movement, with Roe vs. Wade, with the LGBTQ struggle, and with gun control in the midst of mass shootings: The problem is on our soil; it is within, and we are not united.
On the heels of 9/11, The U.S. took swift action. Why? Because we could point the finger and blame someone else. “Clean and simple.”
Our current environment is more precarious because it is, more clearly, our fault. We have nurtured it (passively and actively) and allowed it to fester for years.
We are all to blame.
We can all do better.
We can all BE better.
But it all starts from within.
We need to ask some very challenging questions and instead of expecting change to come from our appointed leaders, we should first take a good look at ourselves.
Are we respecting ourselves by respecting others? Are we engaging with the cashier in the checkout line? Are we making eye contact and smiling? Are we treating them NOT as a lesser servant, but as our equal…someone living their own life on their own terms and timeline?
On the freeway, are we speeding up when we see a car with a turn signal trying to merge into our lane, or are we showing respect by slowing down and allowing them to get to where they need to go? Are we feeling entitled because we drive a nicer car and have already accomplished our goals? Do we feel resentment because we are still striving towards our goals and not driving the car of our dreams?
Are ego, judgment, and greed dictating our behaviors, and tarnishing our self-respect and respect for others?
There is a paradox to my mother’s advice, “You worry about yourself.” It was meant to suggest that I focus on my own happiness and stop worrying what my brother was doing. It was not meant, however, to encourage turning my back on compassion for others.
As an adult, I have delved deeper into this school of thought. How wonderful it would be if we would stop judging, shunning and alienating segments of society and, instead, embrace all of our fellow man. Imagine all the good that could be done if we all worked together at providing happiness for everyone instead of trying to take it away from some…always afraid that someone else was getting more.
I hear a lot of people right now chanting about change and lecturing about electing the right people into office to make those changes. But that is exactly what has happened. The current climate of our country is a direct result of our egos, our ideals, our behaviors from the ground up. Collectively, we have created this shit storm.
We need to ask ourselves if we are living by the very elemental Golden Rule of treating others as we would like to be treated, or if we are more worried about our own happiness by trying to take happiness away from someone else.
So when the students of todays’ demonstrations start to wain with disappointment as nothing changes, and their movement loses momentum much like the efforts of Standing Rock, of Flint, Michigan, of Puerto Rico, let us encourage them to keep looking within for the strength to…
[…and that’s where I stopped writing a year and a half ago. I stopped because I felt defeated. I stopped because I felt my writing was fueled by anger and frustration and I didn’t like the dark places in was taking me. I stopped because I felt there were too many layers to peel back before finding the origin of our problem and offering a solution.]
I stood on the soil of El Paso exactly one year ago. It was a safe and loving border town separated by a river yet connected by a bridge to the city of Juarez, Mexico. We passed back and forth between the two cities–between the two countries–and experienced people living their lives and welcoming ours with gracious hospitality on both sides of the Rio Grande. I now watch the postings unfold on social media- postings not fueled by hate and anger but by respect for their fallen people and by the love of their community in which they thrive.
The human experience is all about inclusion—finding a place to fit in and live out our respective destinies. We are all living our own lives, experiencing our own struggles—be they trivial or significant—on our own time. This human experience is nothing new; so why haven’t we figured it out yet?
I keep scratching my head and wondering when the American people will realize the blessings of our surplus. When will we realize that this land is big enough for all of us? When will we get beyond our history and become united as our name suggests? When will we start living our own lives instead of being so driven to destroy the lives of others?
When are we going to grow up and figure it the fuck out?
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