Five Secrets You Should Always Keep From Your Girlfriend

Okay, let’s get started: I’m not precisely uplifting you to mislead your sweetheart. But keeping your lips tight can mean going great in your relationship.

Sarah Jones, the founder of the leading dating coaching firm Introverted Alpha, asserts,

“Holding back information is wholly appropriate depending on the context.”

It is acceptable to keep a secret when you do not have sufficient trust or comfort to share it and fear that doing so could harm your mental health or reputation.

In a similar vein, you are permitted to keep your mouth shut if the subject may devolve into hurtful or unhelpful details. This is especially true if you are just starting a new relationship.

According to Bela Gandhi, founder and head coach of Smart Dating Academy, a professional dating consulting firm,

“A good relationship is based upon trust, honesty, and intimacy”

You know the most important things about each other, you can trust her with anything, and you know instinctively that she is being truthful with you.

However, excessive honesty can sometimes sabotage a relationship. Honesty and openness are not the same things.

On a first date or when you’re just getting used to her, you won’t tell her your darkest secrets.

If you’ve been dating a woman for six months or more, here are some things that are “better left unsaid” These things won’t hurt your relationship or be viewed as dishonest.

1. How good your ex was.

Don’t talk about how great the sex was, how much your family loved her, or how if she asks about your ex. Even if you don’t mean it, answering your girlfriend’s questions like these is just cruel.

2. The number of people you’ve slept with.

Nothing good ever comes out of revealing the number. However, telling her will not make her feel better. She might think you’re a womanizer, even if you aren’t, or that she doesn’t stack up to your exes if the number is high.

And if you’ve only been with a few women, she might worry that you’ll leave her for someone else to have more sexual experiences or feel bad about her number.

(If your girlfriend asks you how many women you’ve been with, here are some things to say.)
If she keeps bugging you about it, tell her that her insistence is making you feel uncomfortable and that the number doesn’t matter much because you’re just with her.

Let the past remain as it is. But regardless of how many people you’ve slept with, make sure you both get tested for STIs.

3. Keep it to yourself whether you have an innocent crush or simply notice that your girlfriend’s best friend looks like a doll.

Gandhi advises against telling your girlfriend about this. It will result in negative feelings between you and her, possibly even between you and her best friend.

Make your girlfriend feel like she can’t be replaced and confident, not like you can trade her for a friend.

4. Negative, demeaning thoughts about the relationship. (self-doubt)

I am not implying that you are unable to lose your self-assurance or that you are unable to share your self-doubt with your girlfriend. A big part of being in a relationship is having someone to help you get through hard times and boost your self-esteem.

But resist the urge to constantly express your feelings of insecurity when hanging out with her.

Gandhi asserts,

“She’ll start believing you too if you say it too often.”

Guess what, if you always tell her that you’re not the man she deserves? She’ll presumably pass on to go get the man she deserves. Step up and be that guy, unless you think you’re not compatible.

A crucial step in establishing a solid emotional foundation for your relationship is identifying the underlying causes of those thoughts and working to comprehend why you feel the way you do.

5. If you dislike someone in her family or group of friends.

If you can grin and bear it, especially if she is extremely close with this person.

the better your life will be if you can keep the peace, and let her have her village.

Besides, she’ll get to have some quality alone time with this relative, which is something you can feature.

Even better: Consider the reason why that person drives you crazy. Is it something they do or something you think about them?

If you want to spend the rest of your life with your girlfriend, that annoying person will probably be around for some time. It’s better to deal with them right away than to suffer in the long run.

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