It is difficult to see your way out when in a rut.
Your mind is so focused on the problem. The solution becomes blurry. Even the noise of the unsolicited advice gets louder.
There is no perfect dating advice.
Advice only occurs because people share what worked for their relationship. In hopes, it somehow helps you as it does on sitcoms.
Some tips are so cliché. It hurts. Like, of course, you’ve tried that before.
But have you tried approaching your dating problems this way? Here are some fresh perspectives to help you out of your dating rut.
Money doesn’t have to be a problem.
More money doesn’t have to create more problems. Life is expensive for everybody because of inflation.
Those with larger incomes only have more spending power.
You are not obliged to share the specifics of your net worth. If the items you buy give your income bracket away, that’s fine. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for liking nice things.
All you can do is protect yourself.
Set a spending limit for dates. Treat your date because you want to make the gesture. Walk away when you feel like a money bag with legs.
Money attracts many people.
Some people like to be sweet. Then the relationship ends; they become mean and disrespectful. Protect yourself beforehand with budgets and credit card limits. So, you don’t give things you will desperately need back after a breakup.
Calm is your opportunity to thrive.
I have trained my mind to expect the worst. It’s true. When days pass, and there isn’t a single thing to kiss my teeth at, I create a struggle.
Good things can happen to you in threes, fives, and tens. Even then, more good luck can come your way.
When your dating pool is dry, someone is on their way into your life. When you uphold your standards, you get closer to attracting the right person.
Today is a good day to not act out of desperation.
But calm makes us restless. You wonder about the what if’s, when, how, and other details. Yet, calm is natural. Why?
- It gives you time for reflection.
- It helps you gain clarity about who you want.
- It starts your self-development journey.
- It forces you to let go of people who want out.
- It allows you to add realism to happy-ever-after dreams.
A dry spell on the dating scene is not a cause for panic. Eligible partners have not gone scarce overnight. Nope. It’s a sign you are not ready for a long-term relationship.
People often say if you’re not getting married, you’re preparing yourself for heartbreak.
That’s a half-truth.
Relationships end. People get divorced from their supposed soulmates every day. Calm won’t make you meet your ideal match.
It helps you know yourself.
It prepares you for the moments that make other people lose themselves.
Friend groups can keep you single.
I love the stick with my partner trend on social media.
It goes against everything that would often happen in the group chat. In the chat, replies make you judge your date’s appearance, bank balance, or job. It’s dumb.
Meanwhile, “stick by him or her” culture supports acknowledgment and acceptance.
It’s difficult for people to change their looks. Graduating takes time. It’s hard to find someone who will be supportive while still figuring out their goals.
If you can accept these qualities, stick to your person.
Your brain craves the benefits found in a group. If you need outside validation, go where you will get positive feedback. Besides online communities, the comments of new friends and acquaintances are a lot less harsh.
Picture your happy ending.
Quiet your inner critic. Release thoughts of failure.
Every decision changes your life for the better or worse. You could date someone or not enter the relationship and still have regrets six months later.
The worst regret is not taking action faster.
Self-talk triggers confirmation bias. If you think a plan will fail, your brain will prove that story. And remind you of all the times your arrangements fell through.
Then, guess what?
This new plan is more likely to fall through as well. Give something a shot, not because the person asked. But because you deserve a memory of a situation going right.
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Previously Published on medium
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