A few weeks ago, after I saw the video that inspired me to write my latest article, “Creating courageous daughters and sensitive sons,” I saw an advertisement from a site called goodmenproject.com which was seeking submissions about gender-free parenting.
I was already interested in sharing my belief in raising children the same, regardless of gender. The opportunity to write the article, and expand my reach to a site as authoritative as goodmenproject.com, just made me extra motivated to do a great job on that article.
I am excited to announce the publication of my article on gender-free parenting. What’s more, they have signed me on as a regular contributor!
Gender-free parenting is something I encourage my readers to consider. The traditional gender roles that have been with us for so long have guided girls toward higher levels of social competence than boys, and boys toward higher levels of bravery in the face of anxiety. Social competence and bravery are both honorable and valuable traits. If only we had more people who possessed both in abundance!
One point that I haven’t made in my writing yet, but which I will be writing about in the near future, is the very real and visceral ways that homophobia is used as a weapon of sexism. Men who are strong and forthright are called leaders, while women are accused of being lesbians. Women who express themselves emotionally are seen as nice, kind and likable, while men who do so can be accused of being gay.
There is ample research to suggest that women have more room to “bend” their gender expectations than men do. For many men, certain behaviors are just not possible, for fear that someone might think they are gay. The rules that men have in public restrooms dictate silence and the avoidance of eye contact. All men seem to know, usually through the use of ridicule, the unspoken prohibitions about touching, showing affection, or expressing too much care and concern.
In my article about disciplining without spanking, I argue that spanking is ineffective, and ought to be discarded in favor of more informative and loving methods of discipline, paired with large amounts of rewards and praise for positive behaviors. As a blogger, I am a member of several Facebook groups which talk about parenting issues. One of those groups is a group that is only for fathers. Whenever the spanking issue comes up (which is frequently), I offer my opinion. Invariably, someone ridicules me and/or my children. Apparently, if you are a man, treating your sons with love and empathy is gay! Not to mention that sometimes, I am warned that I will “turn” my sons gay with my emotional interactions.
I told my sons about this a few days ago. My one son said, “And that’s supposed to be bad, right?” Lol.
Enjoy the article about gender-free parenting, and be aware that homophobia is intricately linked to our society’s abiding interest in keeping boys blue and girls pink. Then, teach your children, with your time, words, and actions, that all of the virtues – compassion and bravery, love and assertiveness – have their place in the lives of successful, well-rounded people.
I wish you all well. Thank you again for your support.
—
This post was originally published on Dr. John Rich and is republished here with permission from the author.
—
◊♦◊
Here are more ways to become a part of The Good Men Project community:
Request to join our private Facebook Group for Writers—it’s like our virtual newsroom where you connect with editors and other writers about issues and ideas.
Click here to become a Premium Member of The Good Men Project Community. Have access to these benefits:
- Get access to an exclusive “Members Only” Group on Facebook
- Join our Social Interest Groups—weekly calls about topics of interest in today’s world
- View the website with no ads
- Get free access to classes, workshops, and exclusive events
- Be invited to an exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” with other Premium Members
- Commenting badge.
Are you stuck on what to write? Sign up for our Writing Prompts emails, you’ll get ideas directly from our editors every Monday and Thursday. If you already have a final draft, then click below to send your post through our submission system.
If you are already working with an editor at GMP, please be sure to name that person. If you are not currently working with a GMP editor, one will be assigned to you.
◊♦◊
Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? Submit here:
◊♦◊
Have you contributed before and have a Submittable account? Use our Quick Submit link here:
◊♦◊
Do you have previously published work that you would like to syndicate on The Good Men Project? Click here:
Join our exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” — where community members are encouraged to discuss the issues of the week, get story ideas, meet other members and get known for their ideas? To get the call-in information, either join as a member or wait until you get a post published with us. Here are some examples of what we talk about on the calls.
Want to learn practical skills about how to be a better Writer, Editor or Platform Builder? Want to be a Rising Star in Media? Want to learn how to Create Social Change? We have classes in all of those areas.
While you’re at it, get connected with our social media:
- To join our Facebook Page, go here.
- To sign up for our email newsletter, go here.
- To follow The Good Men Project on Twitter, go here.
◊♦◊
However, you engage with The Good Men Project—you can help lead this conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Join us!
◊♦◊
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock ID 1284992701