Get a Better Calorie Burn When You Smash the Patriarchy

I’m in one of the many Facebook groups for women when I see a familiar post. A woman in her forties is asking how to lose weight and giving an exhaustive list of every single thing she’s ever tried — to no avail. I’m exhausted just reading the list of restrictions and regimented physical activity.

I tell myself not to do it. I tell myself to keep scrolling and keep my trap shut. I take a deep, cleansing breath.

But, of course, I do it anyway.

I decided to jump in to be the annoying person to say that what we really ought to be losing is these patriarchal beauty standards.

Get your calorie burn when you overthrow the patriarchy!

It’s big business to make women hate themselves. Every single time we feel bad about ourselves, an advertiser gets a bonus. Perhaps not with that level of immediacy, but we can be sure that if a campaign is impressing upon us some deficiency, they’re ready to sell us some snake oil to fix it. They need us scared of aging, growing, and changing. Empowered women aren’t buying their crap, but insecure women are lining up in droves for whatever “one thing” they’re selling that is meant to save us from our worst fears.

But it’s never just one thing.

I decided a while ago that instead of focusing on weight loss, I would lose the weight of society’s body image issues. I would not make them my own any longer. I would reject patriarchal norms by allowing myself to take up space, to age, and resist the influence of toxic advertising.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines patriarchy as “a society controlled by men in which they use their power to their own advantage.” The patriarchal structure is also built on white supremacist ideals. If we want to get in a solid calorie burn, it would be much more effective to spend our energy trying to overthrow inequitable systems to benefit us all. We’ll really lose the weight of society’s pressures when we realize that those pressures are meant to keep us oppressed and too distracted to notice the loss of our personal agency.

Get stronger when you lift the weight of oppression!

I decided that I no longer care about getting thinner, but I do have some interest in getting stronger. As I began investigating the impacts of our culture on my body image, I realized that my anxiety lessened with every single concept I stopped investing my energy into maintaining. I began to skip the anti-aging expensive beauty potions in favor of simple, at-home alternatives. I stopped trying to make the number on the scale go down and using that one number as a measure of my work and worth.

I got stronger by lifting that weight off of me, and I also felt lighter as I removed it. Every single move I made away from those toxic beauty standards was a step toward freedom. With that freedom, I’m able to help others see that we don’t have to buy into every single idea that comes our way. We can choose new and healthier icons.

Feel the burn of resistance!

For resistance training, I’m a fan of ignoring society’s dictates about how I should look and feel by focusing on healthier measures that are more personal and meaningful to me. There’s been resistance to my resistance. My mother hates that I won’t wear a bra if I don’t feel like wearing one, but as I’ve frequently reminded her, we all have nipples, but only women are commanded to hide them. I’m comfortable in my skin, and I’m enjoying the freedom of not having to tear a hot, sweaty bra off my body every summer.

Every time we refuse to buy into what we’re “supposed” to do, the patriarchy feels the sting of it. If we can’t be manipulated, we can’t be controlled. And that’s the whole point. You can increase your resistance training when you make good trouble.

Try the Patriarchy Smash and Grab!

It’s time to smash the patriarchy and grab our power back. Every day, I wake up to a new news story where the current regime is trying to steal our rights away. From reproductive freedom to the simple right to participate in elections and vote, current patriarchal leaders think we’re going to sit quietly and let them take what we fought so hard to achieve.

There are many actions we can take to advocate for ourselves and others. Contacting our representatives regularly to make our opinions known is an easy one. We can also spread awareness to contradict the propaganda. But the most personal thing we can do to change the dynamic is to address all the ways we’ve absorbed these ideas into our lives.

Don’t be distracted by trying to get smaller and take up less space. Forget fitting into a society that’s intrinsically oppressive at every level. Every time we reject gender roles and made-up social constructs, we’re striking a blow to an oppressive system. Every time we put our energy into being inclusive and intersectional, we’re taking a step forward into a better future. Every time we open ourselves to a new way of thinking and being, we strengthen our communities and grow our compassion.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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