Everyone acknowledges that it’s good to give.
All religious traditions have a charitable component. And many atheist and agnostic philosophers and thinkers also believe in generosity.
I am a Christian, and I know those of my faith are called to something called agape love. We are to love others the way God loves us, unselfishly and without stinting.
In reality, human beings fall far short of this. As I say in another article, I think only dogs live up to this divine ideal.
It’s not just that we don’t give, it’s that we don’t want to give. Yet in order for charity to be meaningful, it must be done without resentment, with an open heart.
There are parables in the Bible where it talks about giving everything we have. Does this mean that all of us have to take vows of poverty?
Should we feel guilty if, thanks to our hard work and talents, we are rewarded with material benefits like a nice house or a great vacation? Or, at the other end of the spectrum, if we are broke students or single mothers, should we feel resentful that we are called to give when we can barely pay our own bills?
The reality is that charity should not be a burden. It is a gift not just to the recipient, but also to the giver. When we are truly generous, we open ourselves to real connection with both humanity and divinity.
But how do we go about it?
First off, never give because you “have to”. If you cannot give with an open heart, without expectation of reward, and without resentment — then don’t.
Second, you don’t have to feel guilty if you are materially blessed. It’s OK to enjoy the wealth you’ve earned. However, examine your options. Will a $3000 bag really give you more pleasure than a $2700 one? Why not buy the slightly less expensive option and give the difference to charity?
Similarly, if you are a doctor, maybe you are not called to work in a rural area. If you are a lawyer, maybe you are not called to work pro bono. But could you dedicate a few hours to the poor — perhaps you could spend a few hours every week or every month using your skills to serve the poor. Will earning 5% less really have that large an impact on your life?
At the other end of the spectrum, if you’re a broke graduate student who would like to give to charity but feel you can’t — maybe re-examine your definition of charity.
Examine your spending habits. Let’s say that you are fairly frugal but you do treat yourself to a Starbucks every morning. Would you resent it if, one day a week, instead of treating yourself, you treated a friend, someone who can’t normally afford to buy a fancy coffee?
And what if you can’t even do that? What if you are a single mother and every penny you have must be spent to take care of your child? How about if you and your child helped an elderly neighbor weed their garden? Or volunteer to walk one of the dogs at the local animal shelter?
The reality is, if are willing to give, we can always find opportunities. Sometimes we have to be creative.
Is it worth it? I think it is. I think that, when we give, with an open heart and with joy, we find that the act of giving makes our own lives richer.
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This post was previously published on Medium and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Shefali O’Hara