How Did I Know I Was Finally Looking at Love?

I am the perpetually single woman in my family, and also among my friends. More often single than any other state of existence, I have been the token single who is dragged along to every ladies night, girls night out, break up night out, and anything else that requires the presence of single women than I care to admit.

When I tell you there have been many, just take my word for it.

I had, at 41, given up on the mere idea of relationships, and nothing was going to change my mind about that. I wasn’t looking, and if we’re being honest, I was actively “not looking”. I put the kibosh on anything from jump. I didn’t even let it get to the exchanging phone number stage. No, thank you, I have a phone number of my own, I’m good.

So, meeting Vik was like some unseen forces at work. We both describe it in that same corny ass way. However, I knew immediately that he was different on some level I hadn’t personally witnessed before. I wanted to relay some of the differences between him and anyone else who had attempted to get between myself and my Token Single Girl title.

He has zero problem telling me exactly how he feels about me.

I have never had anyone tell me as often or in as many ways as he does exactly how amazing he thinks that I am. He actually said to me just last night, “please don’t ever change. I love everything that makes you who you are”. He isn’t afraid to tell me he’s proud of me, he tells me often I’m “absolutely killin’ it” in my professional life, and that he is just proud to be with me in general. Coming from a life where I’ve never heard things like that, not from my family, my exes, basically anyone, I feel like a completely different person.

He thinks my quirks are adorable.

Tonight, I said to him, “oh damn, I completely forgot this chic may need me to foster her horse sized dog for a little bit, she just messaged me”. He replied with “of course you want to foster. That’s who you are”, like it’s the most natural thing in the world that I want to rescue all of the dogs, ever, and can’t see why there is any downside to that thought process. He also finds my awkward, semi-socially inept tendencies adorable. He isn’t repulsed by the stupid things that I say daily, because he finds me to be silly and lighthearted, which, I sorta am.

He thinks I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes on.

Listen, that’s not me just assuming that, he literally says it probably 20 times a day. Although I’m nowhere close to that, he surely does make me feel as though I am.

He celebrates my successes with me.

Tonight, I signed a contract with a client that was a fairly decent step in the direction I want to be moving in my career. He told me he was so proud of me. How well I’ve been doing at knocking it out of the park lately. And that it’s not surprising to him, it’s basically just another day in the life with me.

He goes out of his way to be a sweet and thoughtful guy.

There isn’t a day that I wake up and he hasn’t texted me, so I know he’s thinking of me. He always says the most caring and sweet things so that I know he’s not only listening to repeat, he’s actually listening to understand me. He does and says little things that he absolutely doesn’t have to, simply so I understand what I mean to him.

He always makes plans with me for the next day or two.

There isn’t a time that he and I go to our respective homes without a plan to see one another again. It is decided before we part that we’ll see each other again shortly, and he has never flaked out or changed his mind. He makes time for me and lets me know that I am an important part of his world.

As someone who never had a really great relationship before, I was skeptical, hell I was suspicious. But, here we are, in a forward moving pattern, and I am just as sure today as I was a week ago. So, as someone who will freak out at the long game, I can take it in one week increments until I’m better equipped to deal with a relationship that isn’t toxic and soul crushing.

I’ll see y’all in a week.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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