How do men express care and support for one another? It’s a big question that I’m challenged with regularly, not only as a practicing therapist, but also as a man who seeks to have meaningful relationships with other men in my life.
In American male culture, emotional restriction is a part of everyday life for most of us. As men, we wear our masks of invincibility and emotional bluntness daily, only allowing ourselves to regularly express one passionate emotion: anger. This is clear in the movie Welcome to the Men’s Group.
This men’s group, formed as a source of support for men in their community, is a powerful one. In the film, it’s clear that men are so much often comfortable communicating anger and hostile emotions rather than gentler, more caring ones.
Getting “caught in our feelings” and talking through things makes us feel like lesser men.
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This comfort with expressing anger is evident throughout the film and is most personified by Eddie, a Mexican physical therapist who works hard to be seen as a certain kind of guy. He’s tough, athletic, and struggles to find his place as a man of Latino heritage in a group full of mostly White men. His approach in showing care is often pointed. In one of the movie’s most climatic scenes, he uses his anger to address another group member who he believes isn’t being entirely truthful. But, the fact of the matter is neither is Eddie. All things considered, it’s clear that Eddie invests in the success of the group. His intentions are to keep the group honest and moving forward.
This brings me back to the question, “ how do we as men show care to one another?” Most often, like in this film, it can be by calling out our friends on their crap. Sometimes that is necessary. But most often, aren’t we are far more comfortable being seen as relaxed and unaffected? Getting “caught in our feelings” and talking through things makes us feel like lesser men.
The most important thing is that we show up and invest our energy in our brothers, fathers, sons and friends.
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What if we could show care in a myriad of ways? What if care could not only be about calling each other out when needed, but also about being vulnerable with one another? What if we could talk about our failing relationships and expect a hug from our bro? What if it became normal to physically hold your friend in crisis until they told you to let go? We could be an entirely different breed of men if we allowed ourselves these emotional necessities.
Just as Welcome the Men’s Group shows us, there is more than one way to be a man and there is more than one way we can show our care and support for one another. The most important thing is that we show up and invest our energy in our brothers, fathers, sons and friends. From there, we can figure out everything else.
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Join the Welcome to The Men’s Group team for a special red carpet fundraiser event to kick off the U.S. theatrical release of this powerful new film about men in search of community!
WHEN: May 16, 2018
WHERE: Ahrya Fine Arts Theater, 8556 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA. 90211
6:00PM – Red Carpet Reception
7:00PM – Film Screening
Moderator: Lisa Hickey (Publisher/CEO The Good Men Project)
Stephen J. Johnson PhD. (psychotherapist, author, Men‘s Center LA)
Alexandra Katehakis PhD. (psychotherapist, author, Center for Healthy Sex)
Movember Foundation (Men’s Health Advocacy)
Steve Harper – The Mankind Project (Men’s Group Training)
Planned Parenthood Advocacy Project (Family Planning)
Jewish Healing & Hospice Center (Grief Counseling)
GET PREMIERE TICKETS HERE ON EVENTBRITE
Important: If you cannot make the premiere event, please support us by buying a ticket for
our weekly run at Laemmle Music Hall in Beverly Hills
May 18-May 25!