How Lust Is Different From Love?

Lust is a state of mind which alters the chemical levels within our brains. Hormones such as testosterone, pheromones, as well as androgens, all play a role in the way that lust is experienced.

It is also a component of our natural biological processes and our human instinct to reproduce.

If we see someone, we feel drawn to; we can feel attraction and desire to have sexual relations with them to perpetuate our race.

What is Lust?

Lust is the feeling of being in a state of intense sexual desire for a person. The primary attraction draws our attention to a potential partner and keeps the passion for a long-term relationship.

People may feel the desire to meet people for the first time or within the context of a committed relationship.

This article explains the definition of lust and what it’s not, what it is in comparison to love, the signs that you could have a lust issue, ways to express it healthily and the possible pitfalls of Lust.

Lust vs. Love

It is possible to feel an undeniable attraction to someone and believe this is love at first look. It’s important to remember, however, that there’s a stark distinction between love and lust.

In the end, lust depends on sexual attraction, while love is founded on emotional appeal. These two concepts are very different, and many people tend to confuse love with lust.Some people may confuse the two concepts and believe they are ‘in love’ when, in fact, they are ‘in lust.

If you believe that you are feeling the love at first sight, you’re likely feeling lust, not love. But how do you distinguish between the two?

The most reliable indicator is emotions of love originate from an emotional source. That means having sexual relations is not needed as the primary main reason you have a relationship with one.

If you’re in feelings of love, you’ll need to be able to connect with the person in a non-physical setting, such as the time to bond eating out together and having discussions about your goals for the future, or other activities that aren’t sexual in a way. Difference between Lust and love:

Lust

• Lust creates sexual appeal.
• Similar to chemistry.
• physical level connections.
• A desire to get to meet the person you’re lusting for.

Love

• More emotional in the natural world.
• Similar to compatibility.
• A deeper, more intimate connection.
• The desire to establish relationships is stronger than sexual intimacy.

While love and lust might be distinct however, can the two emotions be compatible? Yes, they could.

At any point when we begin dating somebody new, we experience “new relationship energy” (or NRE), which is generally caused by sexual attraction (or lust).

In time, once an emotional, deeper relationship has been formed, the possibility of developing love is there. At this point, it is possible to have lust, and love is both possible in relationships.

Signs of Lust

What are the signs that you could be experiencing lust but not love? You could be experiencing lust if you can identify with one of the following traits:

• If your feelings are sexual only.
• If you notice someone becoming less attractive once you have recognized their weaknesses.
• If you don’t have any desire to create an even deeper bond with the person who you feel lust for.
• The relationship lasts shortly.
• You would like to be in love with the person who triggered your feelings.
• You are highly drawn to people on a physical basis.
• The heart rate of your body increases.
• Your palms may sweat.
• Feel butterflies when you see people.
• You must touch the person often.
• You’d leave after having had a sex session with someone instead of spending time with them.

If you’re feeling an increase in your connection to someone and would like to create an even deeper bond, you may be experiencing feelings of love, not lust.

Does Lust make up a healthy emotion?

Do you think lust is healthy? The answer is simple. It could be. Lust isn’t necessarily “healthy” or “unhealthy” on its own. However, how a person expresses lust may be healthy or unhealthy.

To determine if you feel lustful in an unhealthy or healthy manner, it is suggested to think about the negatives of engaging in it instead of looking at whether the feeling has a healthy side or not.

Are there negative aspects associated with it? It could be, but it’s dependent on the behavior of the individual rather than the actual emotion of the lust.

How to express your Lust in a Healthy Way?

The first step is to seek consent before engaging in sexual or physical contact with an individual. Communicate your needs to your potential partners and members to ensure that there is no miscommunication or conflicts.

At the beginning of a discussion about lust with your partner, be honest and transparent regarding your emotions.

A real conversation is essential if you lust for someone outside of your relationship since it can help you discuss the root of your feelings or whether your partner is at ease with you acting upon the attraction.

To lessen the possibility of conflict or infidelity, against asking your spouse if they are willing to have a sexual connection with someone else. Instead, tell them you’re feeling a desire towards someone else.

If they don’t like your feelings, It’s up to you to decide how to carry on the conversation and the direction of your relationship.

If you’re looking to express your sexual desires with your spouse or potential partner, it’s entirely possible to do so without causing any problems. Here are some methods that you can show your lust positively and healthily to your potential or current lover:

• Your partner should be able to make sexy comments that aren’t rude (e.g., “you are so hot” or “I can’t wait to see you.”
• Use facial expressions and your eyes to tell your spouse that you want to be with them.
• Writing a scathing letter or email telling them what you would like to say with them (with their permission).
• Sending sensual but not explicit images (with their permission).
• Engaging in a shady conversation with them or through text messages. (note it is only appropriate when consent is already established in the relationship)

How to not express Lust

While lust is a normal emotion that most people experience, It’s crucial to be mindful of what you do to express it.

If lust isn’t expressed with respect or healthy, chances of abuse, discomfort, or other problems could occur.

Use these guidelines to remain conscious of when and when not to say your lust to one another:

• Any other person outside of your partner, if the relationship you’re in, is a non-monogamous, committed relationship.
• If you do not have the written approval of every one of the parties.
• If consent or an individual’s boundaries could be breached.
• If you’re not making decisions that are based on logic.
• If you’re not sober, and you are drunk due to drinking substances such as alcohol, drugs, or substances.
• In the event of a breach of trust, it could be a problem between partners.
• If it could cause anyone to feel uncomfortable, it is best not to do so.
• If someone isn’t respectful of you. (e.g. or treats you as if you were an object)
• If the pleasure of following your lust far outweighs the benefits over time.
• If you’re acting in desperation, an addiction, compulsion or an obsession.

Potential disadvantages of Lust

It is possible to experience small to severe consequences based on the desire in various situations. If you indulge in the urge to lust or behave in an “unhealthy” way, you might experience one or more of the following feelings or circumstances:

• Anxiety
• Jealousy
• Obsessiveness
• Sadness
• A breakup
• Impulsivity
• Desperation

It is important to pause, take a step back, and try to look at how you are feeling objectively (which is very hard but necessary). To avoid undesirable and unwelcome outcomes, you should try to slow down your relationships, both sexually and in a relationship with your partner.

Last Words

Lust is a typical natural biological reaction that can bring many benefits.

When acted on with respect, lust can be fun, deepen a connection in a relationship, and even help repair issues within a relationship.

If you’re single or part of an intimate relationship, expressing your lust positively could transform your connection based on how you handle it.

If you are still looking to fulfil your feelings of lust, even though you are in a position to do so, but it ends in harm or result in harm, think about seeking assistance from a psychologist or a relationship therapist.

The person you consult with can help you to understand where these feelings originate and how to express your emotions healthily in the future.

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Previously Published on medium

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