For many of us, dates are exciting affairs. There’s a thrill about dressing up and getting ready to meet and be with someone in a romantic setting.
As thrilling as they are, dates can be pretty awkward — especially the first ones. Sometimes, we can’t help but overthink every little word we say or gesture we make. As the nerves take over, uncomfortable patches of silence arise.
Nerves are just as inevitable as excitement is, so don’t be too surprised if you’ll experience moments of awkward silences while you’re out with your date.
Although they’re normal, don’t allow them to go any longer and risk ruining your dates.
Want to break the silence? Here are a few ways to keep your dates from falling into awkward lulls.
Plan a few conversation starters to break the ice
Just because dates are unpredictable doesn’t mean you can’t plan ahead for them. Better safe than sorry, right?
Before you head out, take some time to plan possible topics and ice breakers. Shared interests are great subjects to start with because not only do they give you something to talk about, but it also makes you look more attractive. Who doesn’t like a passionate person?
Avoid personal subjects
Some subjects just aren’t worth mentioning or talking about. These include (but aren’t limited to) exes, messy breakups, and weird habits. They kill the buzz and make for painfully awkward silences.
If you’re cool with the aforementioned topics, you can open up. However, try leaving the sob stories behind and stick to pleasant memories.
You can also do away with those conversation killers by turning the conversation to yourself. Try something along the lines of, “My sister and I aren’t super close as we used to be, but we used to bond over Saturday morning cartoons. What Saturday morning cartoons were you a fan of?”
Give meaningful responses
As mentioned, some of us overthink and become self-conscious during dates. This stops us from fully expressing ourselves and we end up coming off as awkward. Cue the silence!
Want to keep things engaging? Avoid giving bare-minimum replies.
Go beyond “yes” or “no” and add context. Expounding your answers makes way for interesting responses and follow-up questions, which can lead to greater conversations.
Address the awkward elephant in the room
Is the awkward tension thick? Cut through it by simply being honest. You’ll be surprised by how effective it can be. You may even find yourselves laughing about it later.
Add humor
Now that we’ve mentioned laughing, (tasteful) humor is always a welcome addition to dates. Tickle your match’s funny bone by sharing hilarious bad date stories. One story may lead to something you’ll bond over for the rest of the night.
Calm down and enjoy the moment
Pace yourself and take in the moment. Nerves are normal, but don’t let them pressure you. You’re on a date — not a job interview!
Awkward silences aren’t always a warning to wave the white flag, so don’t read into them too much. Sometimes, they may even be a sign of interesting things to come.
You can’t control everything during dates, especially awkward silences. What you can do is make the best of them through the aforementioned tips.
If your dates don’t go well, don’t get too upset. Remember, there’s plenty of fish in the sea for you to catch.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Jacob Mejicanos on Unsplash
