How to Know (7 Signs) if Your Partner is Secretly Crushing on Someone Else

It is normal for someone to find other people attractive, but what matters is the intensity of the attraction.

It is perfectly normal for one of you to be attracted to someone else during a relationship. However you have to define it, there is a line between having an innocent crush and cheating.

Paying attention to the signs and having open conversations can help if your partner is attracted to someone else.

Understanding the subtleties of being attracted to other people while in a relationship is crucial.

Even if a person is completely in love and committed, they probably won’t be able to completely turn off their natural attraction to other people.

However, the magnitude of these attractions is significant. According to David Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert:

“The intensity of the attraction is what matters.”

It is normal for someone to find others attractive. For instance, crushing on a celebrity is very different from being drawn to a coworker with whom you interact every day.

It’s also important to keep in mind that, as unpleasant as it may be, dealing with these issues is not at all uncommon.

According to licensed therapist Dr. Jameson Mercier:

“Having your partner be attracted to someone else doesn’t feel good, but it can be good for your relationship if handled properly.”

Consider it an opportunity to discuss your relationship with your partner. As people grow older, so do their wants and needs.

Also, keep in mind that not all enticements result in romantic encounters. The existence of this attraction need not necessarily signify that there are serious issues in your relationship; rather, it could be an opportunity to communicate with each other more.

It’s especially important to acknowledge any personal insecurities that might be altering your perspective on the situation.

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Here are seven signs that your partner may be interested in someone else.

1. They’ve started talking a lot about that person.

If your partner is attracted to someone else they might not care about or won’t even know how much they talked about the person they’ve been crushing on in secret.

Irina Baechle, LCSW, a relationship therapist and dating coach, assures that:

“They might be thinking of this other person so much, that they cannot help talking about [them] in front of you.”

It may be frustrating to hear them praise this person, but it may also be a good sign that they have less to hide. If it becomes bothersome, inquire about it.

2. They look a little away emotionally.

Your partner may be conflicted and lost if they’ve developed feelings of attraction to another person. If they act coldly toward you, this may come across in some situations.

According to Baechle, “if your once loving partner appears distant and cold” is a sign.

This behavior shift is a clear indication that it’s time to open up communication in your relationship.

3. Their Routine Has Changed.

A shift in routine could be a sign that your partner is having an internal conflict.

The biggest indication of attraction to someone else is a change in behavior or routine. They may be real attractions if you’ve noticed them spending more time at work, developing new interests, or withdrawing from regular activities together.

4. They’re Giving You Less Romantic Attention.

Your partner may withdraw romantic attention for several reasons, one of which is being attracted to another person.

If you notice that your partner is giving you less romantic attention and appears to be directing their time and energy to another person or group of people (for example, spending a lot more time at work social events), Ask your partner about it or going to a couples therapist if they are giving you less attention might help.

5. They’re Fixated on a Friend’s Relationship.

There’s a fine line between interest and fixation. It could be a signature partner is particularly interested in the relationship of a friend.

6. They’re paying a lot of attention to someone’s social media

In a relationship, it’s important to set boundaries around social media, but it’s not always hard to tell when your partner’s online behavior has changed.

It could be a sign that they are interested in someone else if they have begun paying close attention to a particular person’s page.

According to Bennett,

“People tend to strongly pay attention to someone they are attracted to.”

I would guess that your partner is attracted to a particular person if they seem to always stalk that person on social media and like a lot of their statuses, especially if that person is attractive or your partner’s usual “type.”

People use social media to cheat when they are unhappy with their lives and/or their relationships.

Most of the time, it starts when someone gives them the confirmation they’ve been looking for. They feel like they are appreciated for who they are, and rediscover a lost part of themselves.

It might be difficult to bring up this matter, but if it’s causing you trouble, it’s worth speaking up about it.

7. They’re Not Talking to You as Much.

If your partner has stopped talking to you about their day-to-day feelings and thoughts, it probably means that there is a problem in the relationship that needs to be fixed. Even if it hasn’t been taken action on, external attraction could be a factor in this problem.

They may be issues of their day or life with a third party. You might be able to bridge the gap between you and them by asking them more questions about their life or by letting them know how you feel about the lack of conversation.