Your partner’s actions hurt your mental health.
- Friends give unsolicited advice to help you.
- You comfort yourself with physical presence.
- Your dating standards drop.
- You look for emotional support in others.
We often equate forgiving someone to taking them back.
You don’t need to take your ex-partner back to forgive them. This kind of forgiveness isn’t always worth it. Here are such scenarios.
Whenever you want your ex-partner back — think on these factors
It’s not productive to only depend on thoughts of the bad times.
- Abusive partners often follow up with extra pleasant apologies afterward.
- You can end up wanting closure or another form of explanation for your ex-partner.
Thus, the above tactic can stall your attempts to move on.
What matters more?
- Your dominant feelings for most of the relationship.
- How your partner behaves after the breakup.
Dominant feelings come flooding back when you get back to someone who hasn’t changed.
And let’s not pretend you weren’t watching your ex. Or got updates about them from your friends. This information will tell you the unhealthy reasons your old flame wants you back.
Plus, it shows you the relationship will be much of the same all over again.
Forgiveness isn’t worth it.
One interaction and you’re already on the defensive.
Your partner may or may not blame you for everything while in the relationship. But one thing is clear. They think it is your fault things ended the way they did.
A relationship is a two-way street.
Both parties are often at fault for the ending. Here is how.
- One person did the damage.
- One person sat by and said nothing.
- Or both people took turns doing damage and not communicating.
What if your ex-partner cannot hold themselves accountable for their role? It’s not the best start for a rekindled love.
It’s not fair, forgiving someone who cannot forgive you.
And while doing so, they hold you harshly accountable.
Your partner moved on fast.
They get over you by getting under someone new. It shows immaturity.
Healing doesn’t mean therapy. But it means giving yourself time to be alone and form new relationships.
Partners who move on fast have something to prove.
Ex-partners who realize they need you after dating someone else won’t change. They’ll only work to hide less than pleasant intentions better. They desire the comfort you provide.
This person has no interest in you.
But they do appreciate how you treat them.
They won’t seek to change from the last time. So, forgiveness isn’t worth it.
You still feel drained after interactions.
You don’t need to hop back into a relationship to feel all those negative emotions again.
A call or quick coffee date will drain you.
- Insecure because of their word choice.
- Hurt because of how the old flame forgets about you around others.
- Alone because your views don’t get heard.
- Belittled because you always have to defend yourself.
It’s not worth forgiving someone who won’t change their behavior.
Despite the separation, time together reminds you of the old days. And the old self you no longer want to be anymore.
If they can take you back to the days when you were most sacred, vulnerable, and hurt, run. You don’t owe it to them to suffer through that again.
Thank you for reading this post.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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