How Would Your Life Improve if You Just Accepted It?

I couldn’t help but smile when the sturdy, self-assured woman in the restaurant placed her order.

The stuffy waiter struck me as a Vegan, determined to suggest healthy options, but the delightfully direct woman was having none of it.

“Bring me a hot fudge sundae, with extra whipped cream and cherries,” she said cheerfully, as her colorful necklace and matching earrings sparkled against the restaurant lights.

She was glowing and elegantly dressed. Even her small purse slung over the chair matched her necklace and earrings.

I admired the woman’s style and self-confidence.

Skeletons dancing in their own closets

We live in a society where physical appearance is worshipped, making it hard for those struggling with weight. Body shaming is a real thing, and it can leave lasting psychological scars.

Some robust people are active and in excellent shape, but their overall body type camouflages their underlying fitness. They often endure judging eyes and whispers from slender but narrow-minded people.

The self-righteous scream judgments against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets. — John Mark Green

I suspect the woman in the restaurant was no stranger to the cruelty of others. No doubt boys teased her as a little girl. Maybe her skinny college roommates disregarded her?

All the more reason why I admired this self-confident woman.

Adversity can destroy or shape a person.Those who are knocked around by the sharp edges and irritants of life sometimes emerge as brilliant pearls.

Part of reaching that place of deep personal power and self-assuredness involves more than developing a thick skin and steely determination.

It involves the power of acceptance.

Know when to let go and then do it

When I was a teenager, I fantasized about becoming a rock star.

My musical journey began with years of classical piano lessons. I became fluent on the keyboard and discovered that my tenor voice could mimic some of my favorite singers.

I joined a high school rock band, and then another rock band in college. At parties friends would goad me into playing the piano and singing.

I sang at a karaoke bar once and was approached afterward by members of an established local band. They asked if I’d like to be their lead singer.

But alas, deep down, I knew the truth. I was a decent singer, but not remarkable.

I accepted the fact that being a rockstar was not in my future.

Once I accepted that fact, I permitted myself to move on. I found a career that suited my abilities, and I developed my deeper talents for artwork and writing.

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. — Ann Landers

This is the power of acceptance.

It frees you to pursue the things better suited to your skills, talents, and abilities. And it allows you to move on, to the better life that you deserve.

Some struggles aren’t worth it. They steal our time and energy, preventing us from pursuing the things we were meant to be doing.

Nothing to do with resignation

It’s not always easy to let go of something that feels so very important to you. Whether it’s a relationship, career, passion, or pursuit.

The key is to look for recurring clues. Those breadcrumbs of evidence suggest maybe, just maybe, this person or thing or activity isn’t right for you.

Maybe you’re being held back from becoming the best version of yourself?

That’s when you should consider acceptance. Try it on, like a comfortable sweater. How does it fit? How does it feel? What would you do with the freedom it can provide?

Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices. — Paul Tournier

Imagine how your life could change if you embraced acceptance, let go of what’s not working, and started focusing on the areas where your skills and talents shine.

There are many things I’ve accepted in life. I won’t be a rockstar. As much as I work out and eat right, I’m never going to look like Brad Pitt. And that’s okay because accepting these things means I can focus on the stuff that matters more.

What matters more to me? Loving my family. Reading great books and writing elegant stories and essays. Drawing cartoons, painting pictures, and shooting classic black and white photographs.

Guess I was meant to be a cartoonist, not a rock star.

I’ll never forget what the self-confident woman in the restaurant showed me.

Namely, that acceptance is a powerful thing. And, life is too short to deny yourself a hot fudge sundae with extra whipped cream and cherries.

Before you go

I’m John P. Weiss. I draw cartoons, paint, shoot black & white photos, and write elegant essays about life. Check out my Saturday Letter here.

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This post was previously published on Medium.com.

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Artworks by John P. Weiss