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Years ago, I sparred with my best friend Charlie. Charlie trained me in kickboxing. We’d spar for three 3-minute rounds. Charlie was a first-degree black belt in Tang Soo Do, Chuck Norris’s martial art. Tang Soo Do is the hybrid of Tae Kwon Do kicks with conventional Western boxing. So you throw sidekicks along with jabs and hooks.
Charlie is 13 years older than I am, and is in amazing physical condition. At the time, he was 5’ 8” and 185 pounds. Solid. I’m 5’ 3” on a good day and 145 pounds. Charlie is definitely the stronger man. Charlie and I also trained Aikido together at that time. He was the one who got me back into Aikido way back in 1990. Charlie is not someone you want to mess with—I was a third-degree black belt in Aikido at the time.
It’s all about styles. Charlie had reach on me for both kicking and punch. So there’s the “No Man’s Land” for me in terms of my distance from him. Being shorter, with accordingly shorter arms and legs, I have to be closer to Charlie to land a punch or kick. So I have to either stay far way, or come about to his chest to throw a punch. We boxed with 16 ounce boxing gloves and wore mouth pieces as not to get hurt. But you can still feel the power of the punches.
My strong suit is Aikido: Waiting out blows and throwing the opponent to the ground or using a joint lock. That’s all effectively neutralized wearing the boxing gloves. Then again, we weren’t training Aikido. We were training kickboxing. That’s Charlie’s expertise and mastery.
I was in close exchanging punches with Charlie, keeping my hands up close to my head to protect myself. Charlie created an opening when he cocked back his right hand to deliver a punch. I tagged Charlie on the jaw with a quick tight left hook. It was indeed a lucky punch, but not for long.
My left hook stopped Charlie momentarily. I caught him with a solid shot. I didn’t celebrate. I thought, “Oh, fuck!” I knew with his conditioning he would shake the punch off and counter punch with all he had. That’s Charlie’s training and instincts. So I raised my gloves to my head and weathered the storm for the remaining minutes of the round.
After we were done and sitting dead tired on the floor. Charlie said, “You got me with a good shot.” I said, “Yeah. But I knew you were going to come back strong afterward.” We both laughed. We were martial arts guys.
There are consequences to fighting anyone, particularly when that someone is better than you in terms of strength, skill and experience. Going into any physical conflict, you gotta be present to and respect the other’s power and weaknesses, as well as your own.
This was just a sparring match, training. Our intention in training like in any martial art is to make the other greater than who they are.
Really, that intense relentless training makes me respect the opponent, because I don’t know what he can or can’t do. From their perspective, they don’t know what I can and can’t do, either. That, I believe, is a lesson of peace. Peace makes sense when I authentically get that I’m not inherently better than someone else. If fact, they may be way better than I am. Like Charlie kickboxing my ass.
Peace occurs out of our respect for others, and our constant lesson in humility. Rarely is fighting the best or only option. I presume that idea can extend to the global existence of war.
I’ve learned to respect others, and to get over myself: Be as humble as I can be. Getting my ass kicked every once in a while in kickboxing or Aikido makes this perfectly transparent. Practice your Art of Peace. Practice in your own way as well.
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Photo credit: Pixabay
Lisa – I was like the kid being kicked… Love the photo!