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I came to Dr. Victor when I was about 40 years-old with my knees failing, in a lot of pain. I had arthritis. My flat feet pronated my knees when I walked. The long years of intense Aikido training finally caught up with my physiology, my design.
I saw Victor, because I thought I would no longer be able to train in Aikido. Victor knew this. He was a chiropractor and a healer. He distinguished I was “spiritually stuck” that I couldn’t see myself moving forward, beyond my self-defined limitations.
We first started to correct and adjust my physical structure. He aligned my body. Victor got me tailored orthotics which formed some arch for my feet, so that could walk properly. He also taught me how to walk properly: corrected my gait as not to scrape my feet on the ground. Most of all, Victor got me to “lighten the fuck up”.
I learned from Victor that my physical pain can source from my body that inherently holds or retains my emotions from the past and present. That made a lot of sense to me: I recognized my fear growing up as a child at home.
I’m the engineer. I look for root causes of problems in my job. Yet, altering our structure makes a difference in all that we do. Victor distinguished much of my physical pain had to do with my fear of being stuck: My fear of not moving forward. My fear of my future.
Victor often asked, “Jon, what do you want to do with your life?” At the time I did not know. I was truly stuck. We looked at what I really wanted to do in life. I worked reconciling my fear of my dad when I was a child. I got that Aikido gave me purpose.
Victor passed away several years ago. Ironically, he died of heart disease. Victor healed many others like me, yet couldn’t heal himself. After all, we’re all human.
More than the dear friend and healer, Victor was my soul brother. He filled my soul. He might be proud that I fulfill my calling self-publishing my first book about arising from my darker times. He would have found solace in that I continue to reconcile and distinguish my childhood fear in therapy. I continue to heal me.
Writer and Director Ryan Coogler’s “Black Panther” starring Chadwick Boseman as T’Challa, the superhero Black Panther, eloquently told the story of the man becoming greater than he knows himself to be. “Black Panther” became the worldwide box office phenomena that ultimately transformed our culture and how we perceive Heroes of Color.
“Black Panther” with its largely African American cast became Hollywood’s reckoning. Audiences yearned for movies with grand ideas, diverse cultures, and stories about becoming greater than you know yourself to be. Chadwick as T’Challa arises the Hero in his courage and compassion.
T’Challa succeeds his murdered father T’Chaka as King and as Black Panther. His powerful rival Erik, played by Michael B. Jordan, reveals his father’s tragic betrayal. T’Challa’s father was not the man he thought. The man who defined T’Challa was tragically flawed: His father had no honor or mercy.
On the hillside overlooking his Wakanda, T’Challa sits with his lover Nakia, played by Lupita Nyong’o. He fears the future, moving forward. He fears becoming the King like his father. Nakia says, “You get to decide what kind of king you want to be.”
I choose the kind of man I want to become. In my fear of moving forward, of the future: I choose who I’m going to be. That’s what Victor was telling me all along. I got it.
The wise French Aikido Sensei said, “Move into the attack and die with honor.” We don’t know what the future holds. I surrender to that. I choose to honor me. I won’t satisfy everyone. Yet, satisfying everyone is not my purpose. I define me. Hopefully, who I am and what I do makes some difference as Victor did for me and many others.
Victor always said, “Jon, you gotta let go.” I’m learning to. I love you, Victor. I move forward.
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Photo credit: Pexels
Thank you, Jon, for an insightful piece. The symbolism in what Victor taught you was so profound – you were unable to walk forward into your future until you healed your past. You’ve really honored him by continuing to share his legacy today.
Thank you, Cheryl! I really hope to honor Victor in helping others heal as well. I think he might be proud, too.