In Directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller’s Project Hail Mary based on Andy Weir’s Bestselling Novel, Ryan Gosling plays lone astronaut Ryland Grace, the middle school biology teacher, who literally must save the world. Well aware of his suicide mission, Grace tells his friend Alien Eridian Rocky, the 5-legged faceless rock voiced and puppeteered by James Ortiz, “This is a one-way ticket for me, pal.”
Sad Rocky quivers and shakes, “No!”
Rocky says, “Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix.”
Rocky gives Grace enough Astrophages (fuel) so that he can return home to Earth. Thankful Grace cries. I cried in the IMAX Theater, too. Grace and Rocky’s unconditional love is the sublime heart of Project Hail Mary. My Favorite Movie of 2026.
In Project Hail Mary, Phil and Chris’s movie and Andy’s book, when things go “Bad Bad Bad”, Rocky said, “Rocky fix…” He didn’t say, “Rocky fucked!” Albeit through Grace’s laptop translator, Rocky said, “Rocky fix.”
Expert engineer Rocky fixed the problem. Didn’t worry. Didn’t complain. That profound narrative in Project Hail Mary and about faceless rock Rocky resonated throughout. In many ways, I aspire and train to be like Rocky. Rocky is my Hero.
Several years ago, I found a new job in a completely different career field. I saw that as the opportunity to make a difference in the world. However, at least from where I stood, it turned out not to be. The experience resurrected my fear inside that “I’m not good enough.” My fear of Dad when I was a little boy. I fell into clinical depression. I thought, “I’m so fucked.”
After suffering, I started working with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. Jon fix. I fix myself. No one else can. I used my Aikido training. The late Mizukami Sensei said, “Just train. It’s not like you have to get somewhere.” The purpose of Aikido is to release my fear.
In Aikido, I enter the attack, enter the danger, enter what I fear. The safest place to be is under the attack, in the danger, in what I fear. I hold my position. I open up. I let go my fear inside that “I’m not good enough” over, and over, and over again. I free me. I fix me. Just train.
In therapy with Lance, I entered what I feared, my fear of Dad as a little boy. I forgave Dad for not knowing how to be a father, for being afraid inside too, and for being imperfectly human. I forgave myself for not being strong enough as a little boy to stand up to Dad and protect Mom. I forgive myself for being imperfectly human, too. I fix. I’m the only one who can fix me.
I write about loving myself for who I am and forgiving myself for who I’m not on the Good Men Project with my editor Lisa Hickey. I know what I have. I know what I don’t have. So, I’m good with sharing. I write for the person out there who could have been like me suffering in “I’m not good enough.” I write about loving and forgiving themselves. They can fix. They can fix themselves. They can look inside themselves. If I can do it, they can do it. Just train. It’s not like they have to get somewhere or be someone else. They can be themselves. They can live with themselves, too.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth of Buddhism is the path to end suffering. On the path, love yourself for who you are and forgive yourself for who you’re not. Be kind to yourself. Be good to yourself. Like faceless rock Rocky said, “Rocky fix.” You can say, “I fix.”
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Photo by Ken Suarez on Unsplash
