“It was 1973, and Stephen King’s pockets were empty. He lived in a doublewide trailer and drove a rust-bucket Buick held together with baling wire and duct tape. King’s wife, Tabby, worked second-shift at Dunkin’ Donuts while he taught English at Hampden Academy, a private high school in eastern Maine. To scrape by, King worked summers at an industrial laundry and moonlighted as a janitor and gas pump attendant. With a toddler and a newborn to feed, money — and time to write fiction — were hard to come by.

King couldn’t even afford his own typewriter; he had to use Tabby’s Olivetti from college. She set up a makeshift desk in the laundry room, fitting it snugly between the washing machine and the dryer. Each evening, while Tabby changed diapers and cooked dinner, King ignored the ungraded papers in his briefcase and locked himself in the laundry room to write.” Lucas Reilly on Mental Floss.

I need a wife like Stephen King and millions of other men throughout history who have become incredibly successful because their wives created opportunities for them to focus on whatever they wanted to do. She was taking care of the home, relationship, family, and, if they had children, the kids.

I need a wife to remind me why I am here and that anything less than exceptional is not good enough.

I need a wife so that when I get distracted from my life purpose, she will push me to regroup and stay focused.

I need a wife to demonstrate what commitment to a life purpose looks like, and what is needed to live through our Higher Self, not just talk about it.

I need a wife because sometimes I think my daily practices of meditation, Reiki, Yoga, dance, and movement are “doing the work”. A wife would look me in the eye with that look of, “Are you f***ing kidding me?”

I need a wife because everyone needs support and partnership.

I need a wife because love, connection, and intimacy matter.

I need a wife because WE ALL NEED A WIFE, regardless of gender or sexuality.

And, we all need to become “wives” so that everyone may experience love, support, and partnership.

“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.” bell hooks

• “Wife” in this context is not necessarily a woman; it is an archetype.
• ** I am not actually looking for a wife. This is a reflection on how many men have been incredibly successful because someone, “a wife,” has taken care of them and all of the household’s needs so they can focus on the thing that made them successful or famous. I have a desire for us all to offer and receive love, support, and acceptance in healthy, equal relationships with our partners, friends, and family. We all have the potential to be amazing “wives” with the people we love and love us.

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This post was previously published on Michael Swerdloff’s blog.

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