I Think I Am Spoiling My Nephew

Dear sis,

I think I have spoiled your kid. It’s been one and half years now. I know you visit him every chance you get and it’s hard with your new baby girl but even if you could handle it all; I love having him with me.

You have given me a natural alarm clock that jumps on me when I don’t wake up on time. Who’s running after me all the time and I am loving hating this attention. More love.

I love his hugs and kisses, but he is testing my patience and maybe making me a better person.

. . .

The time he has lived with us has changed me and tested my patience to the fullest. It taught me so many things. Raising a kid takes a village. I don’t know who said it, but he/she was right. Between my parents and me, we barely get any time to ourselves. I have to work from home and write and he is currently hovering near me telling me he wants to do the typing. He likes computers.

I always thought I would be a fun aunt, but I find myself telling him not to do this or that with him living with us. Then he will look at me with those eyes, and I want to give him what he wants. The result is not always good.

He wanted a book, so I gave it to him (your college notebook) and after a few mins it was no longer a book but torn pages scattered around the room. Thankfully, it was a very old, not a useful book. You obviously don’t need it anymore, right?

I will do everything for him, but I am grateful that our mother is with me to change his diapers.

. . .

Image from the author

Because of the pandemic and lockdown, his life is different from our childhood. He cannot play with kids his age in the neighborhood, go to the park or meet people. His life is with us. The three old people. But it’s his normal. He never knew life before the pandemic. For him, if someone wears a mask, the person will go out and stick to their legs begging to go with him.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was to say no to him or tell him he did something wrong. Last week he found the screwdriver and was running around with it. I take to pry that out of his hands. Naturally, he was not happy and cried so much. Whenever he cries, I want to cry with him. It’s so hard.

Do not worry, I would not give him a knife that he’s always asking me for. I know he wants to help in the kitchen. Hopefully, it stays this way when he is old enough to help.

I rarely say no to him and I think I am spoiling him. Should I tell you? We have reached a point where I do not like other people yelling at him about something he did. Not even my mother, or even you. Bad? Maybe.

. . .

I wish we could take him to parks and museums. I wish he could play with kids his age, but all he got is me. I try to play with him when I can but it’s hard but the job and writing.

We broke our rules, sis. We vowed to keep him away from the TV and mobile phones. But when he eats nothing and cries his lungs out, the children rhymes on the TV distract him and we like the silence. Still, we try to keep that to a minimum.

This is not the only rule we broke. If you don’t want your children to eat junk food, don’t bring junk food to the house. You did not tell me this. He can eat a big pack of chips if he gets the chance.

We stopped bringing such things to the house and fortunately he thinks everything comes from the kitchen. If it’s not in the kitchen, it’s nowhere. At least I am off the junk food, too. Plus point is I lost some weight too.

His laugh is infectious and can brighten my day even when I am so sad all I want is to lie down all day long.

. . .

I think we have an unspoken rule in the house. Our mother is the bad cop and I am the good cop. But things don’t always happen the way we like. Because I am a good cop, he enjoys staying with me more. Maybe that’s because of the age too. I am old but not our parents old, so he thinks he can play with me.

Two days ago, I was on a call with my manager and he comes shouting into the room, “I want the small blue thing in the ear”. What does that even mean? After I ignored him for a bit, he starts repeating it over and over and over each time in a louder voice. I had to tell my boss that I would call back soon and off we went to search for the small blue thing in the ear. I found nothing.

All these small incidents test my patience and I had little in the past but I am improving. But with him being with us all the time, even after a year, I find it hard to say no. I want to give him everything he wants, and it is not good. I know that. But I can not stop.

If I do not give him what he wants, he will cry so hard, which is very hard to watch. But I have found a trick. I distract him with something else than instead of giving him what he was originally asking for; I present him with a different safer alternative and it works most of the time but not always.

The good cop has to learn to say no.

The aunt of your little spoiled but cute and smart kid,

Your sister.

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This post was previously published on A Parent Is Born.

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