I’m a Dating Coach: Here Are 12 Things I ALWAYS Do on a First Date

Most of my first dates end in my apartment. The majority lead to second dates.

This isn’t because I’m rich or irresistibly handsome.

It’s because the following steps make women attracted to me and comfortable in my presence.

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1. Shower and change clothes

It’s not cool to turn up on a first date looking and smelling like crap. It’s not ‘needy’ to make yourself look good.

A date is your opportunity to stack the odds in your favor. You have time to look your best, smell your best and meet this woman wherever you decide.

For the love of all that’s good and holy, use this opportunity!

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2. Prepare the house

Your bedroom should be tidy. Your mood-setting playlist should be ready to roll. Condoms should be within arm’s reach of the bed.

You do this because you’re playing to win! When you prepare for the best possible scenario, it’s more likely to happen.

That’s why I prepare my house for female company every morning. It’s an optimistic way to start the day. I’m always wearing good underwear. There’s always a condom in my wallet. Because you never know…

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3. Set up an innocent excuse

Your date should be within walking distance of your apartment — and you should have an innocent excuse to invite her back there. Don’t worry if there are no mind-blowing romantic venues near you. Casual dates are more optimal, anyway.

An innocent excuse allows your date to feel comfortable coming back to your place without feeling like a hussy.

Perhaps you’ll tell her about some hilarious comedy video you were watching on YouTube. Maybe you’ll introduce her to your dog or play her some songs on your guitar.

If she agrees to come, have fun doing that thing for a while. She’ll need to get comfortable in your home before you make your move.

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4. Write down five conversation topics on your phone

I started this habit when I was nervous about running out of things to say — and often still do it.

If you’re fearful of awkward silences, this list will make you feel less worried about them occurring.

The guide below will help you create five great questions to ask during your date.

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5. Hug her and give her a compliment straight away

Most first dates fail because men make them too platonic.

They’re so afraid to make a move that it ends up not feeling like a date at all.

You can set the right tone by hugging your date and complimenting her appearance. Better yet, lead her to the venue by the hand.

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6. Sit next to her, not opposite

Sitting opposite each other feels too formal. It puts a lot of pressure on the conversation — and it’s nearly impossible to flirt physically.

That’s why I choose date venues where we can sit next to each other on a booth or sofa.

From here, you can build up the physical touch at a pace she’s comfortable with.

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7. Flirt

A lot of nice guys think flirting means overwhelming your date with compliments. It’s not that at all.

Flirting is much more subtle. It’s a dance. Do you like her or do you not? A good flirt never makes it too obvious.

I’ll compliment my date, but also tease her mercilessly. I’ll ask questions to subtly test whether she’s a good fit for me. I’ll make up silly reasons why it’s never going to work out.

This makes you a mystery in a woman’s eyes. It creates the emotional rollercoaster that can make her OBSESSED with you.

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8. Have fun!

Don’t make your dates feel like job interviews.

It might sound obvious, but that’s what happens when you focus on logical questions and answers.

Throughout any conversation with a woman, I’m thinking “How can I make this more fun?”.

I’m not afraid to make dumb jokes, ask outrageous questions or tell embarrassing stories. You shouldn’t be either.

When you filter yourself, you come across like every other guy she’s dated. This makes the date more boring for both of you!

Show your true self. The side that your friends and family see. This will make the date more fun for you — and she’ll have a better time too.

9. Pay

It’s the biggest ongoing first date debate. Who should pay?

I understand both sides of the argument. My solution is to take her on a casual date where you can easily afford to pay for her as well. No fancy dinners. No tickets to the ballet.

Now it doesn’t matter who pays, so you can focus fully on enjoying each other’s company.

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10. Don’t kiss her

I used to say “Always try to kiss her on the first date.”

If you don’t, she’ll either think you’re not attracted to her or too much of a coward to show it. And there’s little chance of a second date when she feels like that.

Nowadays though, I don’t kiss anyone in the date venue. It ruins the mystery and makes my invite home seem less innocent. Also, some women are less comfortable kissing when there are other people around.

So, now I only kiss women who come back to my apartment. The only exception is if she really likes me, but has a genuine reason not to come back to my place. In this case, I’ll kiss her goodbye.

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11. Invite her to your place

I’ll mention my innocent excuse casually towards the start of the date, then change the subject. This plants the idea in her brain and gives her time to consider it.

Then, towards the end of the date when she’s having a great time, I’ll mention that we should go and do that thing. It’s only a five-minute walk away, after all! Make it seem like no big deal and she’ll often feel the same.

If she’s been having fun, she’ll nearly always come with you.

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12. Help her get home safely

Whatever does or doesn’t happen at your place, it’s always good to help your date get home safely.

Walk her all the way to her house — or whatever vehicle will take her there.

This is the gentlemanly thing to do — and your way of thanking her for a great time.

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If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your confident masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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Photo credit: Joe Elvin(Author)