I’m Being Held Hostage by My Novel, and I Like it

When I first started to write my fiction novel seriously, I had no misgivings about the process. I knew I’d have to give it my blood, sweat, tears, and probably my firstborn child. Maybe even my secondborn child.

But I romanticized it, like so many a writer before me, envisioning a cozy room with glowing candles that smelled of pine and bergamot, and soft music lulling me into a state of the ever-elusive “flow.” The true process of writing an entire novel — and, in my case, the first novel of a four-part series — is an entirely different beast.

Even more fitting is that my novel is a post-apocalyptic fiction work involving bloodthirsty zombies—I’ve been entirely consumed by the process.

More than merely slamming a few pretty words on a few hundred pages, writing a novel involves so much of the uncreative, nonliterary aspects of the business world that it sucks the artistic charm out of the entire experience. From obtaining the multiple International Standard Book Numbers (ISBNs) for each version of your release to regional differences, to rights, royalties, copyrighting, and promoting your book before it’s even finished — it’s an exhausting, daunting process that has left me frowning in confusion at my screen on more than one occasion.

And yet, the charm of having finished your final chapter, the joy you feel when you realize you’ve created engaging, enjoyable characters that feel like real people out of thin air, and the excitement of finally doing the thing you’ve wanted to do your entire adult life?

It’s worth every hour of confusion, every nervous tick, and every tear shed in the experience.

In the coming weeks, as I finish up my first round of revisions, I’ll be finding an editor (maybe…my resources are tapped!) and auditioning voice-over actors for the audiobook versions. I’m also designing my book covers (plural — I have a series in mind) and formatting my book myself. There’s so much to share, so much information to sift through, that I’ve barely had time to focus on the truly amazing feat of finishing an entire book.

Allow me to do so now: good job, Me. Let’s write another one immediately.

I will go into detail about my experience to help other self-published authors soon, but for now, my novel calls — and I can’t resist.

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Previously Published on Medium

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