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By John Luzzi
Originally, this blog post was going to be a humor-filled blunt take on Father’s Day. As I started writing down ideas, however, I realized I wasn’t staying true to what my parenting book, Dads Know Best, is all about. Let me explain.
When I found out I was going to become a father, I found myself with a pile of books on becoming a father. Some were funny, some were straightforward, and some I am pretty damn sure were actually written by the “authors” wives. While they all had pieces of great advice, I felt like everything was sugarcoated. Nothing I read had me thinking twice (as if that was an option at that point); there was no uncomfortable honesty about the road that actually lay ahead. So, I went searching for the real scoop on fatherhood from every father I knew, asking them for their best “I wish I would have known…” no-bullshit advice.
The result of that advice and a couple of years of actual hands-on experience culminated in Dads Know Best, a book that we feel gives guys the real scoop on what happens when you become a father. Not the sugarcoated version. The book is filled with stories that are all honest and real situations we’ve gone through as fathers. Sure, most these stories land on the funny side of things (at least we think so), but the goal of Dads Know Best and the Know Best series is to give people the real scoop on what lies ahead. Sometimes that road is the only place you want to be, filled with laughter, happiness, and everything you ever wanted. But that same road can also get bumpy, uncomfortable, or just downright shitty.
I could have written a funny article for Father’s Day. There are a million different things my 3-year-old is doing right now that I find absolutely hilarious, and my wife finds completely exhausting. I mean we basically have a tiny, drunk, speed freak on our hands right now, and what’s not funny about that? It’s pure entertainment and endless inspiration for great content. But if I did that, I wouldn’t be staying true to our core Know Best values because that just isn’t an honest account of where I am at as a dad right now.
You see, for me, a funny thing happened when I became a father. An overwhelming fear of failing my child and family took over. Could I be the father and husband they needed? Would I be able to protect them and provide for them? Would I be able to finally get my career off the ground so my wife wouldn’t have to carry the load and could actually get more time at home with her son and family? The only thing I knew was that failing them wasn’t an option. I decided to do what I THOUGHT BEST and went into overdrive.
I am a self-employed musician, now “author,” and stay-at-home dad, so “overdrive” meant working my ass off day and night, taking every job and opportunity that came my way to help my family. When my wife came home from work, it was straight to whatever projects I’d been working on. The phrase “passing ships in the night” is an understatement. Every “free” second of every day I filled with projects, chores, work, and things that I thought were helping my family have a better life. Even as I write this, I have a pile of things on a to-do list—work and not work-related—that I “need” to get done. But what I have been too busy to see is that, although my intentions are great, my family has not been getting the one thing they actually need: time with Dad.
We live in a fast-paced world. Go go go. Everything is 100 miles an hour. Slow down and someone will pass you up. But maybe as fathers, we should be less worried about who will pass us, and more worried about who we are leaving in the distance.
So, if any of you reading this are like me, put the brakes on and slow down this Father’s Day. Stop for a second. Turn off your phones. Emails and work can wait. Take a breath and a break before it is too late. Your family needs it and so do you.
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This content is sponsored by John Luzzi and Don Miggs, co-authors of Dads Know Best.
Read an excerpt of their book, here on GMP:
Dads Know Best (Excerpt)
You’re going to be a dad!
Read the GMP interview of the co-authors here:
How To Be There for Your Baby Mama and Take Care of Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind in the Process (Interview)
Where can an expectant father turn to get advice? Start here with this interview of Dads Know Best co-authors John Luzzi and Don Miggs.
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Purchase Dads Know Best on Amazon (print and Kindle versions), or anywhere books are sold.
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Dads Know Best–the first book in The Know Best Books series–is a real-talk book about parenting from unlikely experts John Luzzi and Don Miggs. Dads Know Best pulls back the curtain on the first few years of parenthood, tells new dads all the things their friends and mentors didn’t have the heart to tell them, and reminds grandparents or second-time parents what they signed up for. There’s no sugar-coating. No pandering. No clichés. Just honest advice from two fathers who did everything wrong but ended up getting it right. From navigating epic diaper blowouts, to managing pregnancy cravings, to learning about the wonderful world of nipples, Don Miggs and John Luzzi have you covered. They’ll teach you how to be there for your baby mama and take care of your kid without losing your mind in the process. After all, they know best.
Don and John are veteran songwriters, performers, and producers. Don is also a radio host of the weekly FM show Miggs & Swig. Fueled by the love of his wife and their two boys, Don believes he can do most anything he tries, and they’ll be there when he falls flat on his face. John lives in Seattle with his wife and young son, and has spent most of his years pursuing his passion for music as a guitarist, singer, and songwriter. Not being able to get through a single book on parenting but still wanting to be a better dad than everyone he knew, he was driven to seek out brutally honest advice on fatherhood. On reflection, he probably should have kept some of this to himself.
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