We sleep at night and function during the day because others stand their post.
In other words, our lives run more or less smoothly because there are adults in society who show up and do their job, even on bad days, when they experience personal struggles or don’t feel great.
They show up.
From sanitation engineers and alert air traffic controllers to uniformed patrol officers and dedicated teachers who educate our children. Most of us live in a world of staggering order, yet we take it for granted.
Think about it.
What would your day be like without order? If no one maintained the traffic lights or showed up to insure your plane takes off and lands safely?
What if someone broke into your home or set it on fire and there were no police or firefighters to respond? How would your life change if your kid’s daycare provider or teacher didn’t show up?
Would your city park be as enjoyable if no one mowed the lawns and emptied the trash receptacles? And how would your grocery shopping experience be if there were no truckers delivering goods or clerks to assist you?
Yes, sometimes things go wrong.
Sometimes people don’t show up or do their job well. And when that happens, we can be counted on to complain loudly to anyone who will listen. We flock to Yelp reviews more often to complain than compliment.
But most of the time, if you really think about it, things work.
And instead of having deep gratitude for how well things work, and for the people that make it so, we tend to take it all for granted.
Your duty is calling, a distant drum
The other night, after a day of productive work, I rewarded myself with an hour of mindless YouTube entertainment.
I landed on several videos of people harassing the King’s Guards in the United Kingdom. The stoic, highly disciplined guards are dressed most often in bright red uniforms and huge, bearskin hats.
By the way, the hat can weigh between five and 13 lbs. And the guards carry a heavy assault rifle on their shoulder whilst standing post nearly motionless for hours.
The King’s guards are elite infantry and cavalry soldiers, many of whom have seen action in foreign wars.
The night is falling, the time has come
Your duty is calling, a distant drum — BZN
The selection and training process to become a King’s Guard (also known as Queen’s Guard, depending on who is currently on the throne) is highly selective and rigorous.
Tourists from all over the world delight in visiting places like Buckingham Palace, to see and photograph these dedicated, security professionals.
Unfortunately, there are rude and disrespectful people who harass, make fun of, and taunt the royal guards.
In the clip below, a woman threw her glove at the royal guard, expecting him to pick it up. But then an official confronted her, asked why she would do such a thing, and explained that the guard is a soldier who served his country and doesn’t deserve such disrespectful behavior.
There are plenty of other videos of adults and children disrespecting the guards.
Instead of appreciating the dedication, service, and professionalism of the royal guards, these people harass and mock them.
Where is their gratitude? How would they respond if someone came to their workplace and behaved similarly?
The people who provide order in society create a safe, reliable world where the rest of us can enjoy our lives.
Yet we take them for granted.
In the light of what they suffer
The other day I was in a busy Panda Express restaurant picking up a to-go order.
The young people working minimum wage behind the counter were hustling, trying their best to greet customers and handle orders. I found the employees to be polite, cheerful, and professional.
Suddenly a woman marched in with a Panda Express to-go bag in hand.
“I need to speak with your manager!” she said in a loud, irritated voice.
The young employee behind the counter politely said, “Sure, I’ll get the manager. May I ask what this is regarding?”
The angry woman said, “You guys got my order wrong. I got home and one of the bowls had fried rice when I explicitly said chow mein. I mean, how hard is it to get an order right? This isn’t rocket science!”
We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison
The manager came out, apologized, fixed the order, and even reimbursed the angry woman. The manager handled the situation beautifully.
But the angry woman merely stuffed the money in her wallet, made some remark about leaving a bad Yelp review, and marched off as angrily as she came inside.
I wonder if the angry woman left positive Yelp reviews in the past, for all of the successful orders she received?
I felt empathy for the Panda Express manager and employees.
Sympathetic with the striving
Entitlement and self-righteous blame are ugly qualities. Unfortunately, I see it a lot these days. Society seems to be coarsening.
It’s like people are spoiling for a fight. Searching for a reason to lecture, accuse, or wag their finger indignantly.
Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these. — George Washington Carver
My father often talked about empathy and the benefit of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes.
What if the angry Panda Express customer had taken a moment to cool down? What if she considered how lucky she is to enjoy the convenience of hot food prepared and waiting for her? All from the marvel of a smart phone order.
Pleasant restaurant employees had her order ready when she arrived, but because it was very busy, they made a small mistake.
Why is gratitude so easily displaced by anger and entitlement?
Rejoice because thorns have roses
Everyone has a bad day, sooner or later. I know I’ve stumbled a few times.
I used to tail gait slow drivers when I was in a hurry, until a friend once said to me, “What if the woman you’re tailgating just found out she has cancer, or lost her husband of thirty years?”
Empathy.
Gratitude.
We need to embrace them more. Refine our perspective in favor of gratitude.
We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses. — Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden
There will always be things that go wrong in the world, and people who make mistakes. But most of the time, everything works shockingly well. So much so that we hardly notice.
The buses and planes arrive.
People stop at red lights.
Our fast food is hot and ready when we pick it up. The barista gets our complicated double frappuccino with soy milk right, despite the chaos of orders and a stacked drive-through.
So maybe we could start leaving some positive Yelp reviews instead of rants. Maybe we could drop off a box of cupcakes to our kid’s teacher. Or buy a coffee for a nurse on her break.
Maybe we could stop taking it all for granted, and show more gratitude.
We live in a complex world, but most of the time, it’s also an orderly world.
And that’s something to be thankful for.
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss. I write elegant stories and essays about life. Check out my popular Saturday Letters here.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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