In The Notebook, Noah and Allie met and had an instant connection. Since their chemistry was palpable, they fell deeply in love, resulting in a passionate and tumultuous relationship that spanned many years.
Growing up, we often see in movies like these how love stories start because of instant and undeniable chemistry. And, frankly, this is one of the reasons why many of us think chemistry can make or break the connection we have with someone.
For instance, if you don’t feel attracted, connected, and compatible with someone, that would be a major Thank you, next!
However, if you feel that you’re being drawn to them on a deeper level, you’ll immediately think that they’re for you.
But the question is, should we rely only on chemistry to form lasting bonds? Is it really such a big deal? Let’s find out.
Chemistry is the start of everything.
I remember my friend saying that he will never go out with someone unless he feels a certain level of chemistry from the get-go.
For him, mere physical appearance or shared interests are not enough. He needs to feel a spark or something special.
This is because he had tried to approach relationships differently in the past (without involving chemistry of course), but it has never yielded positive results.
Meanwhile, I’ve met other people who don’t rely on chemistry. They believe that it’s nothing but a fleeting and misleading concept that tricks people into believing it’s what love is about.
So is chemistry a lie?
Chemistry isn’t a lie, but it’s wrong to base your relationships only on that. Some people think chemistry shouldn’t be taken too seriously because they’ve experienced firsthand how it can lead to failure.
They relied on connections based on it, and they ended up having short-lived and unfulfilling relationships.
Although they felt a strong initial connection with someone, that connection fizzled out once they got to know each other. They realized that they didn’t have much in common or that their values and goals were not aligned.
Chemistry is important…
…but it’s just an aspect of a relationship.
Feeling that chemistry is a significant factor in a relationship is perfectly reasonable. In fact, many of us use it to gauge whether we should pursue someone or not.
But, lest we forget, chemistry alone cannot dictate the success of a relationship, so we shouldn’t base our relationships on it.
Trust, respect, shared values, and communication exist — let’s never forget to include them.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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