“A wise man does not fall in love, but a fool is trapped by his feelings.”
I guess many of you hear people saying modern people are too smart to fall in love. Seems love is reserved for the naive or less intellectually inclined. This mistaken belief overlooks that love takes work rather than only luck. While the feeling of falling in love is instinctive, building a lasting loving relationship requires ongoing conscious effort.
When struggling with relationship issues, it’s easy to seek quick fixes or blame a gone of sparks. For me, love is not a word only. Love is not a fleeting feeling but a verb. Love means consciously giving, with the purpose of enriching the growth of each other. More easily, rather than sustaining a relationship on impulse, choose to act with love and care through everyday actions.
While falling in love is like a rush of excitement beyond our control, we do have control over how we respond and act. Choosing to commit the growth of each other, choosing to compromise, or choosing to support each other when challenged. Those choices are all intentional decisions that help love be stronger. While infatuation fades, actively choosing to prioritize him/her enables love to grow.
Falling in love and lasting forever is just an unrealistic expectation of sustaining passion without effort. In reality, lasting intimacy develops as two people learn to face ups and downs together. Recognizing love’s daily actions and appreciating the commitment is required for long-term closeness.
As we grow, we desire a loving partnership but do not understand how to achieve it. Before taking any changes or actions, opening ourselves and committing to learning and growth creates more possibilities to build a life with “the one”.
Love is not limited to an idealized “falling”. Rather than a pause, love is a constant process of leaning in to cultivate more trust, joy, and closeness.
Long-term relationships change from the infatuation of initial attraction to deeper intimacy, but this transformation is often seen as a loss rather than an opportunity. The daily reality of sharing life with a partner may feel routine or unexciting compared to the feeling of falling in love. However, love depends on ongoing action, not impulse. Anything valuable requires maintenance to sustain.
Choose to act with love and kindness rather than take your partner for granted. While aspects of love may not be easily explained in just words, do not forget to reflect love with daily decisions and actions!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash