Are you sad she left you?
Do you feel angry because she chose another guy over you?
Well, if you’ve answered yes to these questions you’re probably going down a path that‘s extremely unhealthy.
A path filled with misery and hatred towards your partner — and maybe to women as well.
A path where the only way out is to start hating your significant other when actually you should start hating yourself.
Hating yourself for letting her go.
Why you may ask?
It’s simple.
Because it’s physics bro.
Just like in Newton’s third law, every action has a reaction.
Did you stop taking care of yourself?
That’s why she left you.
Did you decide to go soft?
That’s why she left you.
Did you act in a way in which she lost every form of respect for you?
That’s why she left you.
I think you get the point.
No, SHE’S not the problem, YOU’RE just an idiot.
I’ve been through many phases in my life, a phase where I was overweight, addicted to video games, had unlimited bad habits and was overall unhappy. Then there was a phase where I was lean, socially active, used to following a routine, and happy.
It became pretty evident to me that the more I take care of myself the happier I am.
This is something a lot of people don’t understand.
Just because you want your life to be a fairy tale it doesn’t mean that it can or will happen.
Who even are you to expect someone else to accept you just the way you are?
Isn’t this delusional?
The harsh reality is that if someone “accepts you for who you are” this will last only for a small period of time.
A healthy relationship is meant to evolve through time and not stay stagnant.
Keep in mind. The hardest part is to evolve without scaring the other person.
So next time you think she’s the problem, pause, slap yourself, and realize that it’s your fault for thinking a relationship is meant to be easy and someone should accept you exactly the way you are.
Start working on yourself bro, she’ll follow.
No, I don’t mean this in a misogynistic way but it’s reality.
Only a small portion of people love taking initiative and action. The vast majority are followers.
It’s not about who’s beta or alpha or sigma, it’s just real life.
The more organized you are, the more you take care of yourself and the more you strive to be better, the easier it’ll be for you to keep a relationship — and friendships as well.
You need to inspire people to be better. Not in a manipulative way to gain more friends, girlfriends, or boyfriends, but instead in a way where you can find the RIGHT people to share your life, and experiences with.
Don’t be that guy that’s miserable that thinks everything in his life is going wrong.
That’s unattractive.
So what did you learn today?
Work on yourself, stop acting like the victim, and find ways to be better every day, even if it means taking the trash out when you don’t feel like it.
As I said in this article here:
Sometimes, you need to stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and say, “F**k It, I’ll give the best I can today, even if it’s 20%; I know it’s the 100% I could do”.
Remember this.
Life’s too short to be passive, be active today.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Adrian Swancar on Unsplash