“Cloutlighting” is the new term taking the internet by storm. Coined by metro.co.uk writer Jessica Lindsay, Cloutlighting is the child of “clout” and “gaslighting.” When the two cross paths, the result is a viral phenomenon that is perpetuated by common users of social media.
Yes, I am guilty of Cloutlighting, and you probably are, too. Realizing that you’ve contributed to Cloutlighting doesn’t automatically make you an abuser, but now is the time to understand what it is and how to take yourself out of its path.
Cloutlighting is formed when harmful behavior is done unto a person, filmed by the perpetrator, and then uploaded for viewing by every social media user with access to a Wi-Fi signal. Usually disguised as a prank or whimsical trick, the videos are created for laughs, likes, and followers. Because of the comical marketing of the situations, the abuse and harm to the victim(s) tend to go unnoticed.
What are some examples of Cloutlighting? A boyfriend rubs a hot chili pepper on his girlfriend’s tampon, then doubles over with laughter as she discovers the painful penetration of spice on her genitals. A roommate causes his roommate to cry, then rolls the camera as the tears roll down her cheeks. And then, as if the sheer humiliation of the world seeing you in extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable states isn’t enough, the gaslighting portion of the act kicks in: Either the perpetrator, followers leaving comments, or both chime in with sentiments ridiculing and minimizing the victim(s). Names like “sissy” “pussy” and “baby” are called. The victims are told that they are “taking things too seriously” “don’t have a sense of humor” and “need to lighten up.”
Think about it, and you’ve probably seen an example of Cloutlighting. In fact, you’ve probably liked or shared an instance of Cloutlighting without realizing the true nature of the experience. I know that I have been guilty of sharing videos of toddlers being harshly scolded by their parents for sneaking an extra cookie and vlogs of serial pranksters using questionable tactics to sneak up on their friends and loved ones. I shared them because they were marketed as being funny, I laughed, and I wanted to share the chuckle with my friends and followers.
But take away the glitzy social media platforms and comical marketing, and you are left with stark examples of abuse and emotional manipulation. If you were at a restaurant and you saw a man calling his girlfriend cruel names while she cried helplessly in front of him, would you find his actions funny? If you were at the park and saw a mother harshly berate her young child for taking an extra fistful of crackers from the snack container, would you cheer along as she continued? Probably not.
Awareness of Cloutlighting is gaining momentum and it is increasingly being denounced. Like all change, though, the best place to start is with yourself. Eliminating Cloutlighting begins with you, and it beings with me. From now on, I am going to strive to make a conscious effort to identify examples of Cloutlighting in my newsfeeds and on viral websites. And when I do come across an instance of Cloutlighting, I won’t share it, re-tweet it, or like it. What I will do, though, is speak up in the comments section about how harmful the perpetrator’s actions are. I will share my knowledge of the dangers of Cloutlighting with my own network so that the awareness continues to spread. And I will stand with the victims of Cloutlighting because no one should be made to question their emotions, perceptions, or experiences, and especially not online in front of millions of subscribers.
Will you join me in denouncing Cloutlighting?
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Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
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