Let me just say it straight:
Jealousy isn’t the problem.
Lack of reverence is.
We keep trying to pathologize jealousy, as if it’s some flaw in our character, some proof of emotional immaturity, spiritual deficiency, or personal weakness. Especially as women. If we feel jealous, we’re told we’re insecure.
Clingy.
Controlling.
“Too much.”
But let me ask you something.
What if that jealousy isn’t the wound?
What if it’s the signal of where something sacred has been neglected?
I’ve been on both ends of this.
I’ve been the woman gripping jealousy like it was the last shard of clarity in a sea of gaslighting. Feeling insane because my intuition was screaming that something was off, but I was told, “You need to evolve past this.”
And I’ve been the woman who told herself she was above jealousy.
Cool girl. Spiritually advanced. Emotionally expansive. Open.
God, what a lie that turned out to be.
Not because jealousy is the end-all emotion — but because I used the mask of evolved detachment to numb what was actually holy rage.
Here’s what I’ve come to understand:
When you revere someone — when you cherish them, honor their body, time, heart, and presence — there is a natural safety that gets created. Not control. Not ownership. Safety.
And safety is the container for trust. For vulnerability. For real f*cking intimacy.
But if that container has holes in it?
If someone is giving parts of you away in the name of “freedom” or “openness” while you’re left cleaning up the energetic mess?
That jealousy you feel — yeah, that’s not the villain.
That’s your nervous system crying out for reverence.
Let me be even more clear.
Jealousy often arises not because someone’s yours, but because they’re treating what’s sacred as if it’s disposable.
It’s not about “owning” them.
It’s about feeling like they’ve stopped honoring what you built together. What you give. Who you are.
And this isn’t just about sexual exclusivity or monogamy, by the way.
This applies to friendships, collaborations, spiritual circles, family, all of it.
When someone starts treating your energy like it’s a faucet they can turn on and off at will — without reverence — you’ll feel the burn.
We’re not supposed to be okay with our bodies, souls, or stories being used, sampled, ignored, or diluted just so someone else can feel free.
Freedom without reverence becomes exploitation.
And no one — no one — thrives long-term in that dynamic.
But here’s the kicker.
When reverence is present — when someone sees you, feels you, respects your heart, your boundaries, your time — jealousy often dissolves on its own.
Why?
Because your nervous system is no longer on high alert.
You’re not constantly bracing for the next emotional sucker punch.
You’re not trying to decode their words while ignoring their actions.
You’re not alone in your love.
So if you’re feeling jealousy right now — pause.
Don’t shame yourself.
Don’t force it into a pretty little spiritual box and tie a bow around it.
Ask yourself:
Where has reverence gone missing?
Where has something sacred been handled like it’s ordinary?
Where have you been asking for bread and getting crumbs dressed up like a feast?
Because maybe your jealousy isn’t the demon.
Maybe it’s the deeply intuitive part of you whispering:
“You deserve more honor than this.”
And that? That’s not something to shame.
That’s something to listen to.
As always loving you from here,
Activation Call
If this stirred something in you — if your body nodded, your heart ached, or your spirit whispered “yes” — then you already know:
It’s time to reclaim your sacred.
This isn’t about fixing jealousy.
It’s about restoring reverence — for yourself, your energy, your body, your love.
I’m inviting you to join me for an Activation Call:
“Reverence Over Reassurance: Alchemizing Jealousy into Sacred Power”
Together, we’ll dive into:
Why jealousy is often a trauma signal, not a flaw
How to feel and transmute it without shame
How to reestablish spiritual boundaries and sacred standards
What reverence looks like — in you, from others, and in love
And how to return to self-honoring without shutting down or shrinking
This is not therapy.
This is a remembering.
A reckoning.
A reclaiming.
Bring your story.
Bring your ache.
Bring your fire.
You don’t have to carry it alone — and you don’t have to shrink to keep love anymore.
Let’s make room for the version of you that no longer apologizes for needing sacred love.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re too sacred to be mishandled.
Come get your fire back.
Comment or DM ACTIVATE to grab your call now!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Rene’ Schooler(Author)
