Jessi-Alex Brandon – Tired [Video]

By Button Poetry

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Jessi-Alex Brandon, performing at Park Square Theatre in Saint Paul, MN.

Transcript provided by YouTube:

0:01
I am so tired I’m tired because I’m
0:07
terrible at going to bed early I’m tired
0:10
because my readings for class keep me up
0:12
all night I’m tired of being read as a
0:16
woman when I walk out the door I’m tired
0:19
of holding my breath when I walk past a
0:21
cop I’m tired because I come out every
0:23
time I say my pronouns out loud because
0:25
anxiety gives me day long stomach eggs
0:27
because colonizes aside the binaries to
0:29
gender and blackness the property people
0:32
still out here supporting Confederate
0:33
statues conserve this claim calling out
0:35
racism shows a victim mentality I am so
0:38
damn tired how many hours do I have to
0:42
sleep before I fully recover
0:43
what does rest look like when your body
0:45
hasn’t caught a break sister world’s
0:47
forms woke liberals and black activists
0:50
say my body carries resilience
0:52
it carries generations of beat backs
0:54
bruises and systemic trauma yet still I
0:56
rise they see the legacy is a Rosa
0:59
Bayard Malcolm and Marcia they see my
1:01
body as a blueprint for evolution a body
1:04
most heavy with both the sense of
1:05
humanity and this atonement but they
1:08
don’t see me a young body who has their
1:10
own only knows their own truth
1:12
forced to carry these broken systems on
1:14
their shoulders I’m expected to see rust
1:16
at cease fire attempted to reboot before
1:19
going out to fight again if I need to
1:21
prove my Worth to every person who
1:23
treats it like a debate do I ever rest
1:25
or do I just pause take a pause when I
1:28
when I’m expected to pick up the weight
1:30
again I remember hearing a group of
1:32
activists say we need to take pauses
1:35
while we do the good work we sing with
1:37
in dance and lift each other up so we
1:39
don’t get burnt out from the work we
1:41
still have we need to be joyful in what
1:43
we’re fighting for in order to keep
1:45
fighting what this rest even look like
1:47
if joy is a requirement for survival
1:49
recently I walked over coals and I saw a
1:52
black man get slammed against a police
1:53
car a minute after that I saw a black
1:56
woman cd-player a hand dance by me like
1:58
she’s the only one in the street she
2:00
assured me that joy still lives right as
2:03
I thought that man could have been me if
2:05
I need to find silver linings just so
2:07
I’m assured I can see tomorrow how can I
2:09
be joyful just because if I need the
2:12
spoons to educate
2:13
one who miss genders me right after I
2:15
say my pronouns do I really sleep or do
2:17
I just purse
2:18
how do I sleep just because just because
2:20
I am a black queer body rest has meaning
2:23
because I’m exhausted just from living
2:25
how lucky is the person who gets to
2:27
sleep with no meaning
2:31
[Applause]

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This post was previously published on YouTube.

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