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Home / Featured Content / Jordan Bailey – Survivor’s Guilt [Video]

Jordan Bailey – Survivor’s Guilt [Video]

"Lately, I can only allow myself 60 seconds of survivor's guilt"

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By Button Poetry

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If you or someone you know is in crisis or having suicidal thoughts please reach out. You are not alone. Here are some resources.

Jordan Bailey, performing at IWPS 2019 in San Diego, CA.

 

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:02
Since my best friend, Asante Parkins, committed suicide,
00:06
I always find myself in fits of survivor’s guilt.
00:10
So just for this poem:
00:11
Asante, you are still alive. You enjoy living.
00:15
Suicide doesn’t call you by your name.
00:17
We just graduated college,
00:19
and every year we meet up in the same neighborhoods
00:21
we used to skip school in
00:22
and talk about how everything is so different now.
00:25
But, Asante, everything is so different now.
00:28
Every time a Black boy takes his own life,
00:30
I feel my corpse reminding me how easy dying is.
00:33
I know the feeling of all of your deferred dreams
00:36
being nightmares.
00:37
Lately, I can only allow myself 60 seconds of survivor’s guilt,
00:41
and I don’t love this borrowed time as much as I used to.
00:44
But my hourglass feels like it got somebody else’s sand in it.
00:49
(applause and cheers)

—

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Photo credit: Shutterstock

 

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