I received some criticism after I published a story about how men repel women on dating apps (you can read it below). In the story, I confessed that I’d been on over 100 dating-app-first-dates.

Not only did this number raise some eyebrows, but some readers also gave me some flak about it. Apparently to some, “my date number” is considered unusually high.

Why? They say (1) I’m dating-app promiscuous, (2) it is proof that dating apps don’t work, and (3) I must be doing something wrong.

Pondering these points, I think back to the numerous times I dressed up, walked into a public place, and optimistically scanned the room for a guy who looked vaguely like his pics. Yes, I admit, 100 first dates seems like an exhaustingly large number.

So, I have to ask myself —

Do I date everyone who swipes right?

This got me thinking about the math behind my high number of dates. After working the numbers, I confidently disagree with my critics. I’ll explain.

Starting with the first point made by my critics — that I am dating app promiscuous.

Am I dating-app promiscuous?

I devised a simple formula to quantify how often I date.

graphic created by author using MS Word

Let’s break it down.

I created my first dating profile on eHarmony in 2003. So, I’ve been online dating for about 21 years.

Unlike my ex-husband, I was not on dating apps while we were together so I should subtract the time I was in committed relationships, 9 years.

Putting it all together, the formula gives us —

graphic created by author using MS Word

The math shows an average of 0.69 dates per month. So, I’ve been on a dating-app-first-date about every 7 weeks for 12 years (sigh).

There you go, the math supports that I don’t actually go on that many first dates. I don’t date everyone who swipes right, I’ve just been dating a long time.

This leads me to the second point made by my critics — that dating apps don’t work.

Do dating apps work?

When you follow the numbers, you see dating apps are very effective at getting single people together and 100 first-dates proves it.

Is meeting good matches that turn into relationships the metric they’re looking for? If so, let’s dig a little deeper.

Of those 100 dates, two turned into long-term relationships.

graphic created by author using MS Word

Calculating the percentage of dates that progressed into relationships, it shows that 2% of my online dates turned into significant relationships. This proves dating apps do work. Because occasionally those first dates turn into significant relationships.

The claim that dating apps don’t work is debunked.

Let’s move on to the third criticism from my haters — that I must be doing something wrong.

Am I doing something wrong?

The fact that I am a middle-aged, single woman having been on so many dates, maybe it’s possible?

I think —

Maybe I’m attracted to the wrong men.

Maybe I need to delete my profile and work on myself for a while.

Maybe looking inward will help me open up to love.

Nah, it’s not me. It’s them.

I come to this conclusion after looking at how few available, middle-aged, single, great guys on dating apps are out there.

dating inequality (graphic created by author using MS Word)

To find out if a guy is what I’m looking for, we have to go on a date.

This shows that I’m not doing anything wrong — despite my critic’s allegations.

. . .

After working the numbers, I confidently conclude that 100 is a reasonable number of dating-app-first-dates. To those who cast judgement, you can see by the logic that they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I am just a regular, single gal looking for love. The math proves it.

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This post was previously published on Long. Sweet. Valuable.

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