I ordered a dress online last week and when it came I tried it on and modeled it for my husband. Then I asked the dreaded the question does this make me look fat? I knew the answer already: it was quite possibly the most unflattering article of clothing I had ever tried on.
This is the part in sitcoms when the guy’s voice changes and says Noooo, you look great. My husband looked me up and down and then after a few beats said yeah. He then clarified that even if I was 6 feet tall and 110 pounds (I am neither), it still wouldn’t look good. It just didn’t look good on my body type.
I know plenty of people who would be mad if their partner told them they looked fat. I appreciated the honesty. It confirmed what I was thinking when I put it on and his comments also helped reassure me that it wasn’t me, it really was the dress.
Over the years my husband I have become more direct with our honesty as well. In the beginning, you don’t want to offend and so you sugar coat the truth. Now I know he hates polka dots and thinks pastels wash me out (they truthfully do).
It’s not just truth in fashion either, obviously. We have been honest with each other since we were proofreading each other’s term papers back in college. If I try a new recipe he lets me know if it’s actually good or not and I will honestly tell him he looks better with a little facial hair (he has a baby face it helps him look more mature).
We practice honesty on a deeper level as well. If we are upset with each other we talk it out, even though my husband’s first line of defense is to shut down. We can’t fix a problem if we don’t discuss it and find the root problem.
Being honest is something we have instilled with our children as well. my oldest one time gave herself a timeout before we even knew what she did!
I truly believe our honestly has been a major factor in the longevity of our relationship and hopefully will assure many more years to come.
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