As a young alpha male, I was enamored with the grace, beauty, intellect, curves, and presence of beautiful women.
At such a tender age, I was not cognizant nor was I concerned about what was purported by science to be the “natural” maturation process. Scientists have meticulously shared with us this researched-based blueprint laced with what is thought to be unquestionable documentation, which references one’s maturity and its relatedness to the body’s physical and mental growth academically and commonly known as puberty.
I observed God’s wondrous species from a distance, careful not to offend nor cause any consternation while desperately trying not to be seen nor heard by this elegant creation. I was mesmerized and awestruck by their hypnotizing scents, their iridescent smiles, and the opalescent twinkling of their eyes. Their laughter mimicked that of cherubs slowly stroking their harps as love arrows sailed through unsuspecting skies striking their intended targets with the softness of a clouds touch.
My thoughts were to be the man that would be simultaneously struck by this arrow as she awaited my arrival and anxiously encouraged me to propose marriage!
Obviously, not even being old enough to get a driver’s license or to vote, I did not have a clue of what it meant and what it would take to be the ONE, let alone understand the complexities of something as permanent as going to the altar.
Given all of those obstacles, I was not deterred; with beauty and compassion being exhibited in each direction that I dared to look, I smiled with exuberance as I enjoyed the canvas and all of the carefully crafted, hues and “colors” that the creator dipped his loving bush in as he ultimately shared an incessant cadre’ of glamorous beings that are visible throughout the world.
Aw, but where does this alpha male appear within this canvas, what is his role, how does he show appreciation to and for this well-crafted creation, what is he to bring to the table, does he have a place at the table?
Finding myself while searching for her, that elusive, alluring princess that was placed on this earth just for me.
Muscle bulging, every hair in its place, face cleanly shaven with mustache shaped and trimmed, bald head shining like a new penny, voice deepening, attired in the latest fashions and equipped with the quintessential conversation that will surely impress this goddess that the alpha male is pursuing the stage was set!
I quickly realized that I couldn’t see her until I saw myself, I wondered both silently and aloud:
- Have I prepared me to be worthy of such a treasure?
- Do I admire and respect her as an equal regardless of what is being; discussed, proposed, disagreed with, questioned or just plain old skepticism?
- Am I careful not to be condescending due to my “self-imposed” male prowess as it relates to politics and other matters of worldly concerns?
- Am I prepared to protect her and her honor in all situations?
- Do I project my fears and lack of self-confidence onto her?
- Do my flaws dictate how I respond to her needs and concerns?
- Am I prepared to be that quintessential provider to the best of my ability?
- Can I cry with her?
- Will I genuinely celebrate her and her victories?
- Will I be responsible, dutiful, trustworthy, and loving to her, and our children?
- Will I love her unconditionally?
Finding myself brings me full circle within a realistic prospective to own my flaws, work to correct them, do not blame others for mistakes that I made which may or may not have resulted in causing unfavorable situations and circumstances of a personal nature. Maintain an open mind to life’s challenges, see, read, process and think for myself with an honest eye, mind and to allow space for others to realize their own flaws and to grow within themselves as we grow into the “we” that we perceive ourselves to be.
In finding myself I realize that I know no one better than I know myself, I work diligently to ensure that my vision is not skewed because I refuse to see what is before me and it may not be what I have been lead to believe, sight unseen.
As I crown my Queen, I place her on the throne of my heart, realizing that she is not “something” to behold and to be owned, but a treasure that is to blossom and seek her level of comfort within.
©2018 Melvin Casey Lars
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