I was born a male, socialized as a boy, and in thirty-five years have matured into the man I am today. By no means would I argue that I have developed into a perfect man. I strive to do my best as the partner to an incredible woman, father to three amazing children, and business owner who consistently seeks opportunities to improve services and products.
I’ve been traveling on a journey into the wilderness—a symbolic journey to reveal the highest form of self-love through pursuing my dream. Before starting this trek toward a destiny cloaked in entrepreneurialism, I was told that it would be difficult. I had no idea it would be this difficult.
The work I have completed since deciding to build a consulting business has been successful with regards to impact and personal satisfaction. But the monetary return on the time, energy, and sacrifices have yielded an insufficient profit. I know that my writing and other forms of content creation are making a positive influence in the lives of others.
You can still count on me to affirm that money is only one of the many measures that determines success.
Still, while my work has enriched me and the experiences of other people, it is impossible to pay bills with love but lack consistent hard cash. The struggle to adequately provide for a family and make a positive impact in the community is REAL.
The business I’m involved in today—as I live in Mexico with my family—is an extension of the work I did while living in the United States. If you have followed my previous work, you know I was a professor during the day and a martial arts business owner in the evening. The work I did with martial arts was an extension of my consultating services with schools. Today I write, consult organizations, and coach clients to achieve personal development success.
I enjoy my business. But as a father and husband, I am unable to shift my focus from the reality that it does not produce consistent income. I am a progressive thinker and man of actions, but I do find it difficult to distance myself from the belief that it is my utmost responsibility to make money and provide for my family. I know that being a good father and partner is not related to simply paying the bills.
I know that my love, time, and ability to be mindful in my interactions with my family are more valuable than any amount of money in the world.
Occasionally I fail. Still, I consistently strive to meet and exceed my family’s social-emotional needs. Even if I frequently allow my work to consume me and ignore anyone and everything around me, I also make time each day to play with my children. I tell them and show them they are loved. I don’t always help with dinner, but I aim to attentively listen to my wife’s concerns and share other household duties.
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In so many ways, I believe I am succeeding in life —even if finances feel unstable. By leaving it all behind, moving to Mexico, and relentlessly pursuing my dream—acoompanied by my wife and children and bolstered by their unfailing love and support—we have experienced a significant reduction in monthly income. Over the past year and a half, we have desperately tried to sell our home in the US, maintain credit card debt, and afford our new lifestyle. Currently, we are pursuing a short sale option on our house in the US, while the bank is also attempting foreclosure.
As I said, the journey has been difficult. Before moving to Mexico, I was the person who paid bills ahead of their due date. I was not debt free, but I never missed a payment. After paying the mortgage on a home we haven’t lived in for over a year, we had no choice but to miss payments—leading to the predicament we now find ourselves in.
I realize that by sharing this, it makes me vulnerable to criticism. Some will call me careless, while others may associate me with bravery. However, thanks to this journey—along with resources such as Brené Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone—I have found the courage to navigate this wilderness of self-discovery and entrepreneurialism. In her book, Brown discusses the importance of finding a true belonging within yourself and resisting the need for validation from others.
I’m aware that criticism is an inevitable part of any worthwhile endeavor.
No map exists that can lead me or anyone through a wilderness in pursuit of success. Every day we are blessed with life is another opportunity to take a step in the right direction. Sometimes the right direction is forward; other times, we need to turn around. Today, I am focused on entrepreneurship as the method to provide for my family and serve others. But it’s possible I will soon return to a more stable job market.
Did I accomplish everything that I set out to achieve? No. But from birth to adulthood I have learned that there is an incredible amount of truth in the saying life is unpredictable.
Connect with me to continue this conversation.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock