Love vs. Obsession

When you like a flower, you pluck it but when you love a flower, you water it.

An extreme kind of love is an obsession. Love is detrimental when practiced excessively, just like everything else. It is a problem because the person you are obsessed with consumes all of your thoughts, causing you to compromise your values and devote all of your energies to them at the expense of other aspects of your life that are just as crucial as a romantic partner, such as work, health, friends, and family.

Additionally, obsession leads to unhealthy actions. You have a very high risk of turning out to be toxic to the other person. Such conduct is not immediately apparent when a relationship first begins. But as time passes, the warning flags grow and become more obvious.

Jealousy and possessiveness are the two most obvious signs of obsession. And it is not love if you notice these emotions emerging in any relationship. It is an OBSESSION, so leave it alone.

Obsession looks like this:

1. Giving more importance to the relationship than personal lives

Your relationship shouldn’t take up the entire universe in your life; it should only be one planet.

When relationship needs come before personal needs, it is obviously an obsession. Maintaining our personal lives is extremely important for a solid foundation of love because we can only love someone else when we truly love ourselves.

An obsessed lover feels insecure about allowing their significant other to have parts in their life that do not include them. For instance, they can feel uneasy if their partner wants to go out with their buddies.

It is understandable to spend most of your time with your partner in the beginning periods of the relationship, but if you are losing touch with other aspects of your personal life (work, health, friends, family) even in the long run (more than 6 months) or expecting the other person to lose their personal life for you, it is unhealthy love.

Shared love does not disregard the needs and development of either person.

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Long-lasting love is built when two individuals with independent lives decide to come together and share a part of themselves with each other without feeling the need to depend on the other person.

2. Not giving space

Saying “I love you” before you’re ready;
calling and texting constantly;
getting impatient when you take a while to respond;
deciding what you’re permitted to wear;
choosing buddies you’re permitted to hang out with or constantly making fun of your friends
keeping track of your daily whereabouts

If you have begun to feel suffocated in your relationship, it is a sign of unhealthy love. Communicate it with your partner and notice their response. Anger and defensiveness, instead of understanding and support are signs of obsession.

Love entails having the patience and willingness to give your significant other what they need, especially if doing so will improve their health and well-being, even if it goes against your own beliefs, goals, or plans for the relationship. Obsession is the decision to prioritize your wants and boundaries over those of another person.

3. Seeking approval

You must feel comfortable with who you are in your relationship. If you are changing yourself extremely to seek another person’s approval, it is unhealthy love. You must not need your partner to agree with you to feel about yourself.

When you seek approval, you become a puppet to the beliefs of the other person. If your relationship demands you to change yourself, even parts that you really like, it is not the right relationship for you.

Explore more. You will find your match.