Emotional intelligence something we all need a little work around for sure. But what is it? Why is it important?
Emotional intelligence serves as a guiding light, illuminating the path towards deeper connection and profound understanding.
Today I want to share under my current teaching points of Tantra about this and its importance and power. Especially when we look at the male — female dynamics in relationship.
In our world today there is so much debate on what is a woman? What is a man?
Does polarity mean anything? Is it even something to consider or understand in our intimate relationships?
And like I said, there are some debates about this because depending on what our life has revealed and what wounds we still choose to carry with us, we will all have a different position on this debate.
Here’s a look into my perspective and ideas focused on what men can gain and how men can grow to be healthy intimate partners.
Within the realm of Tantra, this journey of emotional attunement takes on a sacred significance, inviting men to embark on a transformative quest of self-discovery and empathy, where the boundaries between self and other dissolve in the embrace of love’s tender embrace.
At the heart of Tantra lies a profound reverence for the interconnectedness of all beings — a recognition that we are not isolated entities, but rather threads woven into the fabric of existence. In the context of intimate partnerships, this recognition becomes the cornerstone of emotional intelligence, guiding men towards a deeper understanding of their female partners’ experiences, feelings, and perspectives.
Cultivating emotional intelligence within the context of Tantra is not merely a cerebral exercise; it is a holistic journey that encompasses mind, body, and spirit. It begins with the willingness to embrace vulnerability — to peel back the layers of conditioning and societal expectations, and to expose the tender core of authentic emotion that lies beneath.
For it is only by embracing our own vulnerability that we can truly empathize with the experiences of others.
Active listening becomes a sacred practice — a form of meditation in motion, where the mind becomes a vessel for the expression of another’s truth. In the sacred space of intimate connection, men learn to listen not just with their ears, but with their hearts — to attune themselves to the subtle nuances of their partner’s emotions, and to hold space for the full spectrum of human experience.
But listening is only the first step; true empathy requires a willingness to step into another’s shoes — to see the world through their eyes, and to feel the world through their heart. In Tantra, this empathic journey takes on a deeply spiritual dimension, as men learn to transcend the limitations of ego and identity, and to merge with their partner’s essence in a dance of soulful communion.
In this sacred dance of empathy, men become mirrors for their partner’s emotions, reflecting back the beauty and the pain, the joy and the sorrow, with unwavering compassion and understanding. They learn to hold space for emotional expression without judgment or fear, creating a sanctuary where vulnerability is embraced as a sacred gift, and where love flows freely, unencumbered by the constraints of ego.
This emotional attunement serves as the bedrock of intimacy, fostering a sense of deep connection and trust between partners. When a woman feels truly seen, heard, and valued by her partner, she opens her heart in ways that defy description, allowing love to flow unimpeded through the channels of her being.
And as love flows between them, it builds a connection that transcends the boundaries of time and space — binds their souls together in a sacred union of spirit. In this union, commitment takes on a new meaning — not as a contract or obligation, but as a sacred vow to honor and cherish each other, through all the joys and sorrows that life may bring.
Through the practice of Tantra, men learn to cultivate emotional intelligence not as a means to an end, but as a journey of self-discovery and growth — a journey that leads them ever closer to the heart of love’s infinite mystery.
And in the sacred space of intimate connection, they discover a truth that is as ancient as the stars: that love is the essence of who we are, and that through its transformative power, we are forever changed.
Our world is in chaos and breakdown when it comes to many topics. We are destroying marriage, we are erasing roles, and questioning our sex at levels that we never have thought to before.
There is wonder and beauty in the chaos and breakdown, because the pendulum has been swinging one way forever and now in just a few decades we have swung it severely the other direction.
This brings fear up to the service for pretty much everyone and it has created a space of “lostness” for the majority of people.
This lostness brings with it a great mass apathy.
And where there is apathy there is no purpose, no clarity, no drive.
There is only fear that manifests as anxiety, depression, physical illness, lack and scarcity, anger and even rage.
Our world currently, as much as we sign out loud that we want inclusion, acceptance, love, peace, we are in truth in stark stance against just these things.
You cannot repeat the wounds of our ancestors and expect a different result just because we relabel something.
Emotional intelligence and empathy is something that yes, I have addressed the majority of this musing focused on the importance of “why men” should explore and expand in it, but the reality is that we as a whole lack in this vital connection tool.
Women of today are storming the castles.
Women are standing in fear and disgust of men still, maybe even more so than in past history.
I hear repeatedly, “What purpose do men serve anyway? Why do we need them? I don’t need a man, I am better without.”
TRUTH: WE NEED EACH OTHER.
Thats why we crave for what we crave.
Thats why we are plagued with anxiety, depression, apathy, lack of purpose, suicide and rage.
We women need to level up our game as well and learn that need is not such a bad thing, matter a fact it is a very human thing.
You can be a strong woman and still need a man.
You can be a gentle and kind man and still be potentate and leader.
Having emotional intelligence and empathy does not mean you are soft or weak.
It means you have heart and are willing and able to reveal it with those you love and those who need to see it every now and then. It means that you are not operating from the narcissistic ideas of the ego, where there is only right or wrong, separation and fear.
So yes, this musing is for men who want to learn and become better lovers, partners, mates and fathers, but it is all equally true for we women for all the same reasons.
Ladies we are losing our empathy and emotional intelligence.
We are harboring our hearts, blocking love and thus our radiance.
And we are doing it under that stance that “men need to be different.”
Well, we women and men have made sure that men and women of today and for the next who knows how many generations will not be the same as our ancestors.
However, the wounds that have been with us for all of time still remain and are growing at a grander scale, because we have just shifted who is being focused on and not letting go of the demons of blame, shame, separation, fear and envy.
I am sure that many will have a different view, and I welcome your debate. I embrace that my words may trigger your ego here today and I say, “GOOD!!”
Until we can debate and learn to love through it, we will gain nothing for no one.
There is no separation.
There is only love and fear.
Light and darkness.
It is within us all.
Casting stones of judgement is the least loving thing we can do.
It is not emotionally intelligent, it is not elevated or enlightened.
It is just ego.
DROP your thoughts in the comments please and lets chat!
As always loving and supporting you from here,
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Rene’ Schooler(Author)
