Everyone gets angry. It is a normal and healthy emotion that happens to us from infancy to old age. According to the American Psychological Association, or APA, anger is an emotional state that can vary in its intensity from mild irritation to extremely intense rage and fury. Your blood pressure and heart rate increase, you may start shaking, and your adrenaline levels go up. Although anger is normal, it can sometimes get out of control. Especially if you do not know how to handle the emotion.
Internal and External Anger
Anger can be caused by internal or external events. You may get mad at your wife for spending too much money or mad at yourself for not getting your work done on time. You can also get mad at inanimate items or things that happen. For example, getting mad at your car because you slam your finger in the door or angry at the traffic that is causing you to be late for your date. These are all normal. But if you do not know how to handle the anger, things can get very bad for you and others around you.
Healthy and Unhealthy Ways to Deal
Anger issues affect everyone from the person who is trying to deal with them to their loved ones, friends, and coworkers who have to deal with the issues. There are healthy ways to handle your anger and unhealthy ways. Although many people do know how to deal with their anger, there are some who will lash out at others mentally or physically, making things worse for everyone involved. There are three ways to deal, which include calming, suppressing, or expressing.
Calming or Suppressing the Anger
Calming the anger may seem like a good way to handle it but, similar to suppression, it is a form of ignoring your feelings, which can backfire in the end. Keeping emotions inside will not make them go away. In fact, it usually just makes them get worse. It can also divert your anger inside, on yourself, causing you to get mad at yourself and triggering depression, high blood pressure, or anxiety issues. The anger has to be released because it has to go somewhere. Think about an overheating radiator. If you do not vent the radiator, it can explode. The same thing can happen to us.
Expressing the Anger
While expressing your anger is the healthiest way to deal with this emotion, it is how you express it that can be the problem. Turning on a family member or friend, yelling, screaming, and throwing things are not healthy ways to handle your anger. How we express our anger can usually be traced back to our childhood. If you see your parents fighting, calling each other names, or even hitting each other, you are more likely to have anger issues similar to these.
But you cannot blame it all on your parents. As we grow up, we learn that we cannot act like that in school and at work, so we know it is wrong. We just have to recognize it and do something about it.
Admit You Have a Problem
Just like with addiction and other issues like these, if you are not able to admit you have a problem, you will not be able to change it. You cannot just admit to your loved ones that you have a problem to get them to forgive you for something crazy you did while you were in a rage. You really have to be serious and want to change things. It is best for everyone, and this includes you. After all, you can end up hurting someone you love or even hurting yourself in one of your anger rages. Especially if you are the type who does not even realize what is going on.
Anger Fugue
An anger fugue, also known as dissociative fugue or psychogenic fugue, is when you actually lose all awareness of yourself and what you are doing. If you cannot remember your actions the last time you got mad, you may have this problem and it is serious. It can get worse and you may find yourself “waking up” in an unfamiliar place. In fact, if you do something really bad, that unfamiliar place you “wake up” could be in jail. If this ever happens, you need psychological counseling right away.
Talking to a Counselor
When you realize you have a problem and want to get help, it can be hard to know where to turn. If you have never seen a counselor or therapist, you may not know how to find one. One of the easiest ways to find a therapist for anger issues or any other kind of problem is by contacting a counselor online. Relationship counselors online are extremely helpful if you are having relationship problems from your anger management issues. You can do it from your own home and do not even need an appointment. Contact someone today so you can feel better tomorrow.
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