Marriage Price or Single Living Cost Which Should You Pay?

WE’RE ALL KIDDING OURSELVES

Relationship talk or money talk?

Think they are different?

You would be surprised.

Marriage, love, and situation-ships all have their supporters. Every person is rational in their approach. Every person has their version of the truth.

Which truth are you living?

THE MARRIED DETACHMENT

I know some married couples. They claim happy marriage. I watch these couples go out on dates when I have a date to accompany me. I like the double date experience. It can be a great way to enjoy company. The pressure of one on one is absent. So, it’s great…at least it’s supposed to be. With some of my couple friends it isn’t great.

They go out to be on their phones.

Literally.

The entire time they stare at a screen. I have a taste for good food. I also enjoy being waited on. I pick some high-end places. I like to think the point is to enjoy the place & company…right?

But…here they are…taking pictures. Pictures of their meals. Pictures with each other. Pictures of everything. Anything for the Gram. They only exchanged words between each other when it was about food. During diner it was like my date and I went out by ourselves.

My couple friend forked over $500 bucks for dinner. They hugged us. They had a great time. Then they hopped into their Mercedes S Class.

Whizz. They drove away.

What’s the point of going out? Why spend all that money to stare at a phone? What about the person in front of you?

Hell, imagine my double date situation. What about me?

Seems like there was a big cost there. No one’s talking about it though.

THE SINGLE DISTRACTION

I have single friends in search of love (so they say). They are having the time of their lives. They don’t pick up the phone and sometimes take a week to text back. It’s hard to get a hold of them. They are on trips, excursions, and sky diving. After all the Instagram posts they call me back 4 weeks later.

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The conversation is usually about how depressed they are. They can’t find anyone.

Men are notorious for marginalizing our feelings. Men are taught feelings don’t matter. Men are taught we need to keep our feelings inside. Men are taught feelings make us weak.

They say they want love. I guess they were too busy. They were busy having the best time of their lives. Opposite of words.

Would they even go out on a trip if someone simply held their hand?

FEELINGS COST MEN & SO DO DENYING THEM TOO

The truth is all our opinions about relationships stop once feelings are involved.

Men are not exempt from this.

I can sit talking one way but once feelings are involved it changes. Another word wants to come out when I feel some type of way. I learned to wait for negative feelings to pass until I speak. I only talk when I feel good. Even if it’s about a bad feeling. I wait until I am good before I talk about a bad feeling.

This type of self-restraint is masculine.

Self-restraint shows competence, control, and patience.

Having patience allows my feelings to cycle. Time passes with a cycle. Letting time pass means I think about the situation (different from my feelings). Once I think I understand my feelings. I can communicate my feelings accurately with this process.

This process makes me a very strong and efficient communicator. I also don’t have to worry about saying something I don’t mean. I also spare people a lot of heart ache.

Men if you don’t know these are extremely attractive traits to ladies.

Just saying. There’s some free relationship advice.

Before men start calling me emotional, I have a simple question.

Why the hell do us men buy a $100,000 car when we know it’s a waste of money?

The punchline.

Because it makes us feel better about ourselves.

Men are notorious for marginalizing our feelings. Men are taught feelings don’t matter. Men are taught we need to keep our feelings inside. Men are taught feelings make us weak.

Interesting enough these same men are denying a portion of their humanity.

What does it cost us to deny our humanity? What is the price of marginalizing our feelings? What is the bill we must come due on?

The bottom line is men still feel. If a man is saying another man is weak for having feelings than the man talking is not a man. The man talking is a boy. There is no place for children in an adult conversation.

STRONG INDEPENDENCE HAS A COST TOO

The strong independent woman movement is guilty of denying natural emotions too. I haven’t met many strong independent women who are truly happy. There is an always an exception. Exceptions don’t make the rules.

I have heard a lot of views. Some told me they feel “fulfilled”. Others used the word “proud”. A few used the word “happy”.

I ask the self-proclaimed independent happy women, “Does it make you “happy” to know someone will only care take you if you pay them?”

The answer is usually… “That type of stuff isn’t what makes me happy.” Or “I want that stuff, but I don’t need it.”

Okay. That’s not the question.

Situation. If you’re sick, old and on your death bed do you want to hold a nurse’s hand or your husband’s hand? Talk to any old person. They will tell you we are all smoking crack by denying the fact both men and women depend on each other.

Let’s face it…a friend can’t be there for you 100% of the time.

Let’s face it…a sibling can’t always put your feelings first.

Let’s face it…a parent will pass away one day and leave you by yourself.

Who is going to nurse you back to health during COVID and not give you a bill for service?

We all know who that is. A person who agreed to depend on someone.

THE PRICE OF A RELATIONSHIP & COST OF DENYING ONE

It turns out both men and women are paying a hefty bill. Seems we tricked ourselves into believing a falsehood. This trick seemed like a better financial decision than it was.

There is only one person being hustled in our jaded view.

That person is us.

This article sounds emotional until you realize…emotions are part of humanity. That makes it a fact. More importantly, all this stuff has professions.

Seriously.

We are so screwed up taking each other for granted we birthed entirely new professions.

The truth is men need women and women need men. Together we can not only forge a better society, a better life, and a better world but we can forge a better checking account.

Daycare is available for households who choose not to have a two-parent household. Before I get the argument two parent households still use daycare anyone who was married before knows you pay a lot less than when you’re married. Period.

Prices for infant daycare can range from $5,760 to $20,880 a year ($480 to $1,740 monthly), according to ChildCare Aware of America.

Professional cuddlers (for those of us who refuse to build true intimacy) are a thing too. One woman makes about 40,000 a year for this service. An interesting statistic about this field is 3 out of 4 people suffer from an actual condition called “Skin Hunger.” The scholarly study says quite simply, “Skin hunger is the desire to receive more affection then people are currently receiving.”

Seems like there is 3 out of 4 chance a strong independent woman who has the opinion she doesn’t need real intimacy is not telling the truth. Same would be argued if a man said this by the way.

What about someone who will just take care of you? Like what happens if you can’t take care of yourself? The monthly median cost of in-home, full-time care for seniors is $4,481. This is based on 44 hours of care a week. Okay. So you’re on you get help for 6.2 hours a day? I guess that means you’re on your own for about 18 hours. That doesn’t feel like anyone is taking care of me. I don’t know about you.

I won’t even get into having a non-clinical therapist. Having someone to talk to can get expensive too. Upwards to $75 per hour. The need to have someone who actually “cares” to talk to you can be quite high.

BEING HONEST MEANS RECOGINIZING EACHOTHER’S VALUE

It is sad we have marginalized each other. We can literally measure our marginalization in dollars.

Both men and women are guilty. There is no one side to blame. We have each contributed to a situation where we insist, we do not need each other.

The truth is men need women and women need men. Together we can not only forge a better society, a better life, and a better world but we can forge a better checking account.

It’s time we stop letting the media say we don’t need each other.

It’s costing us a lot of money for our pride.

There are married people at the top making money off our division. It’s time as a society we recognize there are few profiteers profiting off all this division.

Do you have someone?

Good.

Look at them right now and tell them, “I need you. I love you. Thank you for being there for me.”

Do you want someone?

Good.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I need someone. Someone needs me. I am worth a whole lot. Someone will see my value. If they don’t, I’ll show them the bill for me to give them a hug. It’s about $80 bucks an hour.”

To your knowledge success!

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.

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About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 15-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination and was a Master Financial Planner (MFP). Christopher also held his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 33 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 13.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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