There is nothing more stable and unstable in this world than feelings.
People’s hearts are unpredictable. Meeting the right person may take a moment or a lifetime. Meeting the wrong person can happen again and again, falling for each other vigorously, parting ways unexpectedly, leaving a wounded heart, and one or more partners not daring to love again easily.
So it’s often difficult to predict whether the behavior of a man before and after marriage will be entirely different.
He may be attentive and thoughtful before marriage; but how lazy and negligent after marriage. Feelings can fade, but it doesn’t mean that the heart that loves you can change at will. It may be difficult for a person who really suits you to be consistent before and after marriage, but if he can do these three things before marriage, there is a likelihood his love will remain strong after marriage.
…
01 Make you laugh
In order to pursue you, most men before marriage are passionate.
This kind of enthusiasm is both a kind of flattery and a way of getting to know you. You have different tastes in food, and he doesn’t question it. Instead, he orders dishes based on you, and enjoys them because of the company he’s with. If there is a disagreement, he doesn’t argue. He is willing to listen to whatever you say.
When you were wronged at work or by a friend, and you didn’t say the reason, he rushed to say sorry for not being able to take good care of you. But the reason why he apologizes when he encounters problems is that he is afraid to accept your negative emotions.
A person who truly loves you can handle your emotions.
He will not feel that there is something wrong with you when you are unhappy but will talk to you patiently. He will then make you laugh, and finally find a way to solve the problem.
He may not be super-sensitive, maybe not as romantic as others, but he knows how to crack a little joke now and then, and he will make you happy every day.
It’s not that he has never been wronged, but when he is with you he wants to drive away the dark clouds for you.
A friend once said:
“A person who couldn’t make you laugh before marriage, do you expect him to make you laugh after marriage?”
Cherish the person who made you laugh before marriage. In this hurried era, he is willing to stop, take the time to understand you, help you overcome sadness, and make you happy in different ways.
There will be countless ups and downs on the road of love, some people are separated in sadness and disappointment, while the rest of them walk together with a smile.
…
02 Enrich your spiritual life
Men before marriage are generally willing to spend money on the object of their affections. But remember, affluence is not only material but also spiritual affluence and abundance. And spiritual reserves are indeed difficult to buy with money.
He may have many novel hobbies, may take you to ride a bike together, or to journey someplace to appreciate the natural world. Maybe he likes handwork, and will work with you to make amazing works with ordinary materials.
Or maybe he is a moving museum. When encountering puzzles, he can always find similar answers from the books he has read, and he will challenge your intellect. With him, life becomes interesting and the future becomes meaningful. Something to look forward to.
He is not like those men who are inconsistent with what they say and what they do. He will not be one of those guys who sticks to you before marriage, but then clamors for space and freedom after marriage. He knows how to advance and retreat.
He will give you space when your thoughts are chaotic, let your spirit relax and calm, and be by your side when you are nervous and anxious, so that your heart can be calm and peaceful.
Being with him is like finding the sea god who only belongs to you. No matter how big the storm is, it will not be able to shake you in the slightest.
…
03 Keep you at ease
This is a very impetuous era.
A man and a woman watched a movie together. Afterward, they admitted to finding their future partners in each other. They shared similar interests and wanted to get married and start a life together.
It sounds so easy? So how to avoid falling for someone else when you are committed to one person?
It is important to note that having close relationships with members of the opposite sex is normal, but it is important to maintain boundaries and respect in established relationships. A mature and loving partner will be considerate of their significant other’s feelings. This does not mean they have to limit their interactions with others–just have clear boundaries and empathy for their partner.
A person who truly loves you, as long as he has established a relationship with you, will restrain his desires before marriage, and get along with other opposite sexes clearly.
He will of course help others whenever he could with innocuous things, but may politely refuse anything that was too intimate. He knows when to say when.
A poet said:
“The sense of proportion is a sign of mature love. In interpersonal communication, one must know how to observe the necessary distance between people.”
…
Marriage is different from being in a relationship, it’s not just “have feelings for you”. It is actual life. It is a responsibility, trust, mutual contribution, and achievement.
Therefore, before you get married, you must see clearly what you can see and think clearly about what you should think about.
Be careful when you find a problem, and think carefully about whether you can accept it if he is like this all his life; don’t expect him to change in the future. It is difficult for a person who is wrong when he is in love to become right after marriage.
If you meet a man who can do these three things before marriage, then don’t hesitate, he will love you twice as much after marriage.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash