I am dating someone who is more concerned about COVID than I am.
It’s not that I don’t care, but I’m less worried and I do things he would not do. But that is what makes me happy, and it’s my life.
He doesn’t try to change me, and I don’t try to change him.
Recently, I went out with some friends to a piano bar. I felt it was safe because all of my friends had been vaccinated, none of them felt sick (I asked ahead of time) and our table was placed some distance from the next nearest group.
My boyfriend, however, was concerned when he found out.
He asked that we not get together for a while, to make sure I hadn’t been exposed.
I respected that decision on his part.
Because it’s not about imposing my stuff on him or him imposing his stuff on me. It’s about both of us respecting each other. So I asked him how long he would need before he felt safe, totally willing to put off our next date for as long as he needed.
Because it’s his health, and he has the right to decide what is best for him.
Another area where we differ — investments. He and I talk about our strategies sometimes. It’s fun to discuss this stuff, but we both have a different approach. Is he right? Am I? Does it matter?
Not really, as long as we are not relying on the other person. Even in that situation, it’s not about one person imposing on the other, but two people having respectful dialog and finding a solution that works for both.
There are many other situations where he and I can disagree, but, ultimately, it comes down to respect.
I think mutual respect is more important than love.
With my own parents — they really did love each other. My dad could be very romantic with my mom, and my mom was playful and flirtatious with him. They had a great relationship.
However, the cornerstone was respect.
My dad totally respected my mom and valued her opinion. My mom totally respected my dad as well. She was very careful never to contradict him in public. It was obvious from the way they treated each other that they respected each other.
A good relationship has to be a partnership. If you don’t respect your partner — you should not be in that relationship.
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This post was previously published on Shefali O’Hara’s blog.
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