I’ve known “Angie” for seven years or so. Over the last year or so we’ve become much closer, following her divorce some 18 months ago.
By anyone’s assessment, Angie is physically attractive. I mean room-stopping, head-turning gorgeous. What’s that old saying, “Men want to be with her, women want to be her.” And some women want to be with her too, no doubt. (Although we talked about that last night and other than some occasional soft-porn viewing, she said she’s not inclined that way…sorry ladies.)
Angie has a complicated relationships with her looks, and so do I. Let’s start with her.
While she’ll readily acknowledge that she understands her physical attractiveness is her most easily (instantly) recognizable trait, it’s not what she wants to be known for; or as. And when she opens those perfect lips and that beautiful brain comes spilling out, there’s no doubt what the real attraction is.
Her energy is electric, her kindness contagious, her easy laugh is infectious, and her intellect is off-the-charts. I’ve never known anyone that met her to come away less than impressed (and frequently smitten.) And that’s how she wants to be known, and appreciated: as a successful, kind, compassionate woman who makes a difference in every life she touches.
Yet there’s no denying the power of first impression, of visual, and physical attraction. And she’s in a profession where those keys open many doors. (Let’s just call it high-end service sales. No, nothing sexual you pervs…:) )
So while she resents every moment of it, she swallows the bitter pill of primping, dressing, and creating a certain image for success. To be clear, it’s not that she doesn’t like to get dressed up, look “pretty” and have her moments of femininity. She would prefer to do that, and have them, on her time-table. When it’s for herself, and not for “the world.”
For my part, I walk a fine line. I’m sure to tell her, occasionally — but not all the time — that she “looks great” or that “I like what you’ve done with your hair.”
But then sometimes, being a red-blooded male that is actually alive and breathing, I have those take-my-breath-away moments with her. It’s involuntary. I don’t will it to happen.
And then, I instantly feel guilty. Have I become exactly what she despises; just another “man,” interested in “only one thing?” Just another vampire sucking the life-blood of her energy, intellect, and beauty?
I promise, Angie, I am not. I don’t want to be. I’m not trying to be. I realize we’re never going to be together, as a couple, but I hope I can be the best “just friend” that you’ll ever want, or need; on your timetable.
—
Previously Published on medium
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Unsplash