I’m not going to lie.
The cheap mofo that I am spent a little too much in May.
I used my breakup as an excuse for splurges to make myself feel better. I returned some of it but still, my credit card bill (which is paid in full each month) is higher than ideal.
My ultimate goal is to move closer to my ex-husband when my kids enter high school. That’s two years away. Home inventory isn’t increasing anytime soon so I need as much cash as possible to buy my inevitable shack.
No…no. I take that back. Glow up women aren’t thinking they’ll acquire the minimum. I need to assume my next house is fantastic, that I’ll have the funds for it, but I’ll be okay if it’s less than stellar. I want the big house. I need the delusions for mental fuel.
I’m doing a No-Spend June. Well, more like a Spend Way Less June. I’ve got kids, it can’t be zero.
Here are my exceptions:
- Food and outings for the kids, which won’t be too bad since their dad (and his girlfriend, which is a tale for another time) is taking them to Hawaii for a week.
- Items to keep the kids occupied for the summer, like workbooks and virtual clubs (I can’t afford to put them in person anywhere).
- Learning something new. I’m attending a few women’s golf events (already pre-paid last month) and I’m planning on trying indoor rock climbing.
- If I’m going out with my girlfriends, which at most will be twice. I can’t self-isolate and we only get together at restaurants since everyone wants to get dressed up and go out. I rarely ever buy dinner anyway, this is a great excuse to continue ordering a single drink.
- My glow up plan included going out on dates when I don’t have the kids, whether by myself or with someone. Custody scheduling is all over the map this summer but I want to commit to going twice in June. I’ll nurse a single drink and order either an appetizer or dessert.
- A monthly $47 gel pedicure. Total splurge. But I can’t remove the current one I have without their fancy machines (or a million dollars worth of acetone) and I make one pedicure last an entire month. That’s the Money-I-Made-From-Medium splurge.
I’ll get roughly $2700 for the car repairs from last month’s car accident. I’m debating if I should put that towards my new home fund or pay to fix my car. I asked the repair quote guy if the damage was severe enough that it impacts my car’s safety with crunch zones and all that. He replied, “You’ll be fine driving your vehicle like that for now. Damage on the passenger side is considered minor cosmetic damage.”
If it were under $2000, I’d get the car repaired. If it were over $4000, I’d save the money. This is the spot where I’m unsure if it’s better to save or fix.
What does that have to do with my Glow Up Diary? I guess nothing, other than my mentality that I’m going balls-in on getting a fancy schmancy house and not a shack.
At night, I listen to sleep manifestations. I don’t know how well they work since the volume is so low and my ears can’t possibly hear them when I’m sleeping. Plus, I have tinnitus; a discovery I learned after divorce when I no longer had my kids at all times to make noise. The first manifestation is a soothing lady who talks slowly. The second manifestation is a guy who overlaps his voice over itself so it sounds like random radio noise. Last night, I woke up at 4 am and wondered if somewhere in the eight-hour recording he was telling me subliminal stuff about the Soviet Union or joining a Satanic Cult.
These manifestations are about building your dream life. I have no issues being lazy with my glow up if it means something I’m doing in my sleep.
Do I feel like a goddess yet? No. But I’m not beating myself up or swimming in a depression pool. For me, that’s a huge step. That can change but for now, I’ll take the win.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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