Get Him to Listen
No one likes feeling ignored, especially by someone we love. Whether it’s feeling like your words go in one ear and out the other, or you feel like your husband is ignoring you on purpose, it can be a strain on one’s relationship.
With that said, there are some ways you can get your husband to listen to you again. In this post, we’ll look at reasons why he’s ignoring you, and what you can do about it.
The Silent Treatment
Ignoring someone can be a sign of punishment for a perceived wrong. In the case of your husband ignoring you, it could be due to the fact that you’ve done something wrong. The silent treatment, also known as stonewalling, is a common technique that both sexes do. The goal is to get you to apologize or to punish you through a lack of communication.
Let’s be clear: stonewalling is a toxic way to handle a problem. Clear communication is always the better route to take, as often, someone who has been stonewalled may not even have an idea why they’re being treated this way.
Guilt Over Something
Sometimes, the husband isn’t ignoring you because you’ve done something, but instead the opposite. Your husband has done something that has made him feel guilty, and not talking is one way he communicates.
He may be afraid to talk about it, or he just may not want to tell you what happened. Sometimes, it can be something innocuous, such as making a minor purchase. Other times, it’s something bigger, such as an affair.
Depression or Stress
Men get depressed and have to cope with plenty of stress. Both of these can affect the man in many different ways, and one of those ways is depleting him of energy. Sometimes, it can be difficult for the man to talk to you about it because he doesn’t have the mental energy to.
Sometimes, it can be due to a mental health problem, and other times, it may be due to something else, such as an issue at work. Your husband may not want to give you the stress of talking about it or may not know-how.
No Longer Interested in the Relationship
Another reason why your husband may be ignoring you is that the spark in the relationship is fading. For some couples, interest diminishes over time, and if there’s no communication and no one is listening, it can spell the end of the relationship.
Bad Timing
Sometimes, it’s something more innocent, like bad timing. For example, if your husband is tired from work and is unwinding with a show, this may be a reason why he ignores you. He may be preoccupied with other thoughts. Scheduling a good time to talk may be the solution.
It’s Something With Your Own Words
Sometimes, it’s how or what you say that can make your husband ignore you.
For example, if you meander while you talk, always sound judgmental, or you always bring up old discussions, this could be a reason why your husband is ignoring you.
What Can You Do?
If you say to yourself, “my husband ignores me,” and you have no idea where to go from there, here are some ways you can improve communication.
Ask for a Good Time to Talk
Sometimes, the solution is obvious. If you feel like he’s ignoring you because of bad timing, why not ask him when a good time to talk is. Conversations aren’t something you have to schedule to the T, but there are some cases when you may want to schedule it a little.
Respect Space
Ironically, one way you can get him to open up is to give him a little space. For example, if he lacks emotional energy, always trying to talk to him can sometimes backfire. Instead, you should give him a little bit of space and then see if he opens up.
Don’t Tolerate Ignoring as Punishment
With that said, if your husband is ignoring you as a form of punishment, this is not something you should tolerate. Don’t give in to his stonewalling, and instead give him some space until he’s ready to talk again. With stonewalling, one of the goals is to get you to beg for forgiveness, and it’s not a good way to resolve any conflict.
Try to Help
If your husband is not talking because of some stress, see if there’s any way you can help. While you don’t want to do all his work, you may be able to offer something to relieve his stress and get him to talk to you some more.
Add Some Spice to the Relationship
If you feel like you’ve drifted apart, find a way to come together. Sometimes, you may have to schedule a little date together, go see a movie or do something else such as get into a hobby together. Other times, you may need to figure out how the relationship fell apart, and see if there are some ways you can repair it.
Seek Counseling
Often, the reason your spouse is ignoring you is complex, and no matter what you do, you can’t get him to open up. In a case like that, you may want to seek help from a couples counselor. A counselor knows how to make people talk, knows how to resolve conflict in a marriage, and can help the two of you come up with healthy communication methods and conflict management.
In addition, counseling can help you be mindful of your words. You may have a tone of voice or some words that are not appropriate. A counselor can show if you’re doing anything wrong.
Parting Thoughts
No one likes being ignored, especially when you’re unsure of the reason. When it comes to spousal ignoring, sometimes it’s his fault, and sometimes you may share some blame. Get help for your situation and you can come out healthier than ever.
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