My Prison

I created my own prison.

Not the jail type of prison…

But the prison that I allowed myself to be confined to by worrying more about others’ judgment, than my own well-being.

I was guilty of this for many years.

I created my own prison.

I confined myself by holding back my words.

I confined myself by shrinking myself to meet others’ desires.

I confined myself by not showing up fully, because others did not show up fully.

I confined myself by religion, theology, and beliefs in which I did not believe, but tried hard to out of fear of judgment.

I confined myself by believing I could not be happy in this life.

I desired more from life, but remained confined out of guilt and shame.

The thought of my own worthiness, value, and importance created guilt and shame.

I felt insignificant, because I forced myself to feel insignificant.

Those who were afraid to be themselves taught me I was not allowed to be myself, not allowed to live happy, that self-sacrifice was the goal of life.

To seek happiness and fulfillment, to feel alive, to feel free was sin.

To feel truly worthy and deserving of seeking happiness, love, success, fulfillment, joy…

Was shameful.

I believed that my “mission” in life was to sacrifice myself, and make others more important.

But I realized that if we all do that, we will all be miserable together…

Was misery and sacrifice really the purpose in life?

I reject that.

I believe that the purpose in life is to seek and find happiness.

Your own happiness…

In yourself…

Happiness is inside, and the absence of happiness means there is healing to be done to find that happiness.

It is in there.

Unbridled, absolute, unconditional love and happiness which has so much love to give to the world.

When you appreciate yourself you have more to give others.

You can love more.

Once you feel this love, you see the hurt, pain, and suffering that others live with…

You hear it in their words… their anger, their frustration, their pain…

You see it in their fatigue.

Suffering is not the purpose of life.

Finding happiness is…

Not in wealth, materials, vacations, relationships, sex, chemicals…

But inside. In your connection to God and all things.

Suffering and pain is unnecessary and not the goal.

To find the ease, the joy in life is…

It’s there when you want it.

All you need to do is decide that there is more to life than the pain, suffering, and struggles you are experiencing.

The current challenge you are facing is temporary… not your identity.

Happiness is a choice.

Only your choice.

It’s all on the inside. There is no true, lasting happiness on the outside.

Every ounce of lasting, permanent, unconditional happiness and joy is within.

But you must be willing to release yourself from your own prison.

The prison you’ve created for yourself.

—

This post was previously published on mikekitko.com

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