The strangest thing happened to me. I was busy writing my blog for the week when this giant crab scratched on my sliding glass door. I named him Karkinos after the giant crab in Greek Mythology that the goddess Hera placed among the stars to make up the constellation known as Cancer (my birth sign).
Now, you might ask, what is so unusual about a visit from Karkinos? A reasonable question considering I live in Florida just half a block from the Atlantic Ocean. Crabs come and go around these parts, but this one seemed intent on meeting me.
Every year, between June and December, this crustacean species known as the Giant Land Crab (Cardisoma guanhumi) migrates from inland burrows to the ocean where the females will deposit their eggs during full moons. The first time I saw these crabs I was driving to my new Florida home soon after my arrival on November 2014. They are “YUGE” and difficult to miss when they cross the main coastal road (AIA) to get to the Atlantic Ocean.
What makes Karkinos’ visit so unusual is that he went out of his way to reach my bedroom sliding glass door. In fact, he had to travel twenty feet deep into my Florida Room (covered porch) to pay his visit.
Even though he was as big as a Humvee, I paid little attention to him on this first visit. After a brief pause, I ordered him to be on his way. Karkinos must have understood English, for he excused himself and scurried merrily into the sunny afternoon. But, later that evening, Karkinos was back scratching at my same door.
This return was very unusual; these crabs are programed to get to the sea ASAP. Not Karkinos, for he came back four more times in the three days following. Since then, I have not laid eyes on that hard shelled son-of-a-gun, he must have returned to the constellations.
I have been an agnostic for a large part of my life. The last few years have convinced me otherwise. I know there is a life or intelligence within us that gives order to our external life. Whenever I see someone’s fate transformed by the magic of serendipitous events, I am reminded of its existence. For this reason, I decided to decipher the meaning behind these unusual visits with a Google search for the spiritual symbolism of the crab.
Before you laugh at my attempts to get life direction from a handful of crab visits, consider this; Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist known as the father of analytical psychology, suggested that a primary method for making sense of the world was by interpreting its symbols. Jung believed we could decode life meaning from the images we perceived and be directed by the power of their attendant associations. He developed these theories in his work about the Collective Unconscious and archetypes. Call me crazy if you like, but I was following the advice of a sound authority in Jung.
Google had many things to say about these creatures, but I narrowed them to four points;1) For the Chinese, crabs signify prosperity, success and high status2) As crabs grow, they cast of their shells for a new one. This is why they are considered a symbol of transformation.3) Crabs warn that you may be exposing yourself to toxic energies and spiritual vampires.4) Crabs are the symbol of self-protection, boundaries and teaching others how to treat you.
All good advice, but I certainly didn’t need to be told I was amid transformation. For three years I have been living in that in between place called a life transition. All one can do is live one day at a time to the other side in one healthy piece. I didn’t need a visit from a crab to enlighten me on the subject of blood suckers who can poison your life, for I am adept at identifying such folks and then distancing myself from them.
It was the last point that spoke volumes about “teaching others how to treat me.” Rejecting my old beliefs I am not good enough and creating a new standard of self worth has been the quintessential challenge of my current period of life. Karkinos was right; it was time to teach those closest to me on how I should be treated.
But haven’t you already taught people how they should treat you? You might ask. Yes, but the problem is that the person I have publicly presented is flawed. For years I believed I had to shape myself to what others wanted of me to win their hearts. This made me shapeless and without boundaries. I allowed myself to be trampled and used to keep the peace in close relationships, especially in romantic ones. I have to change that, which will not be easy, for some may not like a more authentic me.
All this amounts to the fact I have to reintroduce others to a more reasonable respect for me. Here is what I have come up with. I know that, as a Cuban immigrant, I posses an unusual background, but that adds great value to my ideas and beliefs, this means I expect fair and respectful treatment, to be heard and not just listened to. I will teach them that a person should be able to count on true family and friends to be there at the hour of need, I also will expect to be consistently valued for who I am and not just on special occasions.
As for my lover, the same as above applies but with certain additions. A romantic partner who is not excited to be in a relationship and does not try to spend time together is not worth having. Neither is one who does not welcome all levels of intimacy. To be my partner, she must accept me as I am and not try to convert me into their ideal. They should encourage and support me as I attempt to become the best I can be. Finally, she needs to work with me to make our union the home base for all we do.
In return, I offer the same commitment to my family, friends and lover.
Feeling valued like this should be a minimum expectation. In fact, I believe this way of being treated has universal value. Perhaps Karkinos approached me six times so I could act as your messenger and ask you to make up your own list on how you want others to treat you from this point on. What have you got to lose? If you don’t do it, you might get a visit from some humongous crab! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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Originally published on guillermovidal.me
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