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Boys Can Be Depressed
Adults can suffer from clinical depression and so can children. Parents don’t want to see their son depressed, but it can happen. The symptoms of depression in children look similar to those in adults, but there are some slight differences.
One symptom to look out for with depression in children is difficulty focusing. This warning sign can happen at school or home. If your son’s teacher reports that he is having trouble paying attention, you might suspect this is a symptom of ADHD, but it could be depression.
Watch for Symptoms of Depression
If you notice that your son isn’t interested in attending school functions or extracurricular activities that he once loved, he could be suffering from depression. In children and adults, social withdrawal is a symptom of depression. You don’t want to do the things you once loved to do. In boys, it could be subtler. Maybe his interests have changed, you might think. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to play soccer because he’s depressed. How do you find out?
Have a Conversation
Talk to your son. Ask him what’s going on with him. He may become defensive and say he’s fine, but it’s still important to start that dialogue. You never know what could come out of opening up a candid conversation. Another thing you can try is revealing something personal about your mental health. If you have ever suffered from depression, share that with him. He might feel more comfortable being open about his feelings if he thinks you will understand. Having thoughts about depression or suicide can be frightening to a young boy or even a teen. Knowing he is not alone will help him feel supported.
Language Matters
The language you use is essential to helping your son get the help he needs. If you are revealing your personal story, you can say things like “I know what it’s like to have thoughts that are scary or don’t make sense. You can talk to me if that’s happening to you. I’m here to listen, and I’m not afraid.” Older boys might put on a tough exterior, but feeling depressed can make you fearful. Be empathetic to your son’s emotional state and remind him periodically that you are there to talk if and when he is ready.
Aggression Could Indicate Depression
Some boys who are experiencing symptoms of depression throw tantrums or have violent outbursts. You might associate tantrums with younger children, but this can happen in older boys as well. Depression can cause irritability; the way your son expresses his emotional distress is by letting those feelings out and sometimes that can look like anger. Remind him that it’s okay to be angry, but set boundaries. It’s not okay to destroy objects or hurt people when you are mad. When he isn’t angry, work on techniques with him to calm down when he realizes he is starting to feel angry.
Suicidal Ideation
When your son is depressed, you need to pay attention to warning signs of suicidal ideation. That can be present even in young boys. If your son mentions wanting to kill himself, take that seriously; also if he says it in a joking way. Talking about suicide is dangerous, and this can be an opener for you to address this issue. If your son is preoccupied with the ideas of death or dying, this can be a sign that he is thinking about suicide. Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions: “do you want to kill yourself?” or “are you thinking about harming yourself?
Getting Help
Know when to seek help for your son. If you notice that his depression is worsening, his grades are slipping; he doesn’t want to hang out with his friends, talk to a mental health professional and seek counseling for your child. Catching signs of depression early and treating them can save your son’s life. Just by reading this article, know that you care about your child. You’re a good parent, and your son is lucky to have you. Keep talking to him, remind him you are there to listen, and you care. Depression isn’t easy to cope with, but you can help him manage it with the right help.
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