Tuesday 08 march, 2022.
I was having a casual conversation with my mother a couple of days back.
She talks of papa more and more since he has passed away. More than anything, she likes to talk of the year before he left us and the changes she noticed in him then. For me, unintentionally this became a means to understand, not just him, but even my ancestors before him. Especially when it comes to a relationship with food.
See, I always thought papa was very careful about his food choices, that he was healthy and super fit, and super concerned abut his health. Discussions with ma made me realise that I might not have been completely correct.
I discovered that he could not control his cravings for sugar and sugary food, especially during the last one year of his life. He overate regularly at meal times. Even the snacks he had between meals, gradually became “sugar” dense. Whether it was biscuits, bread, potatoes, rice or sweets — he loved them and they started to control his actions more and more as he came close to the end. Maybe it was due to his diabetes. But it was not a good lifestyle that he gradually drifted towards.
What got me thinking about this, though, was that ma mentioned casually that my grandmother ( dad’s ma) had the same issue — she ate too much as well. Especially towards the later years of her life.
That made me think hard.
About my own self!
I know I have struggled with overeating regularly and binging, often, since a long time. I do not want to dwell on that because I want to believe that I am no longer that person. But is this like a monster in the closet? Waiting to jump out when I drop my guard! That sends chills down my spine because there are still days when I struggle to stop eating when I just get full. I always want to eat more.
I have struggled with other things too — obesity, mental health issues like anxiety and phobia , difficulty in losing weight, maybe even some form of food addiction.
I know I have struggled a lot with this problem. I believed it was just me but was it, though?
Now, looking back at other members of the family on my dad’s side , my paternal uncle , my cousins, even my own brother — I realise they do not have much control over their food habits.
Some one loves sweets to the limit of indulgence, some one gorges on junk food, someone just has way more food than is healthy and some just love eating from outside.
Was it just a lack of willpower or an accumulation of some genetic crap over generations?
Do eating disorders run in the family?
Or specifically, do eating disorders, maybe even some form of food addictions/ overeating run in my family on my father’s side?
Naturally, I researched the topic and the answer I found is:
Yes!
Probably it is not food addiction but overeating and binging definitely do!
There are 5 facts I came across that support my theory:
1. Various studies have been conducted to examine the reasons why some people chronically overeat and are unable to limit their food intake. Evidence has shown that persistent overeating leads to a pattern of compulsive behaviour similar to that of substance abuse, drug abuse and addictive disorders. Overeating makes you addicted to eating over time.
2. “Food Addiction” has been widely studied — subjective experiences related to food consumption resemble criteria of Substance Use Disorder (SUD) (e.g., strong urge to consume, exacerbated by abstinence, cravings and a failure to limit consumption despite the awareness of toxicity and harm to oneself. )
3. Genetic similarities have been found between overeating and substance addiction — both related to the genes encoding the dopamine D2 receptor allele of the ANKKI gene and OPRM1 gene .
Drugs and food exert the same gratifying effect through the activation of dopaminergic pathways in the brain with the consequent release of dopamine which leads to addiction.
Dopamine is the key.
Remember this line. It is the root cause of the problem and hence the solution, as discussed later.
Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
4. Binge eating disorder is the commonest eating disorder in the world, way more common than anorexia and bulimia.
5. Bulimia and Binge eating — Both disorders are highly heritable (41–82%) and carry a high risk of psychiatric disorders.
So we have established that overeating does have a familial predisposition.
Now, I want to come to the important part — Are you struggling with overeating too?
I have been there and maybe it was familial , but that changed for me, for the most meals now and that is why I chose to write about this.
There was a time, not so long ago when I ordered in massive quantities of food because I like variety in my meals. Most of it was carbs and sugar. I would eat till I could not even move , and then I would feel guilty. End result? I would feel that that day was already screwed, so I would order more food, with the promise that I would begin “ tomorrow”. That happened every single day for I do not even recollect how many days of my life.
But do you want to know how many years of my life I wasted like that ?
14 years!
Repeating the same cycles over and over again.
And the weight piled on along with so many other issues.
Until last year…..
Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
……when I started on the path of spirituality.
Before you laugh it off and stop reading , give me a chance to elaborate.
Trying to lead a spiritual life made me ask myself a very important question — Why am I a slave to my tongue ?
It is just another form of attachment and nothing else !
My cravings to eat were controlling me and the fact that I had no control over my own existence, even if in this sphere, it made me feel like I was in a prison. I was not free.
I asked myself over and over again — Did I not even have enough self discipline to not be a prisoner to a sense organ in this life?
All spiritual disciplines say that controlling the tongue is the easiest out of all the sense organs. And yet my tongue controlled my life for over a decade!
It might sound cliche but sometimes the strength to do the right things by yourself is found in the strangest of places. I found it in spiritual texts.
There is a verse in Asa di vaar: the first text that is traditionally read in all gurdwaras across the world in the early hours of the morning :
Those who serve are content. They meditate on the Truth.
They do not place their feet in sin, but do good deeds and live righteously.
They burn away the bonds of the world , and eat less quantities of grain and water.
The same is written in so many spiritual texts that I have read — to eat less and to eat a simple, wholesome diet. To stay away from indulgence.
Moreover , the longest living people in the world — they all talk of eating in limited quantities.
Why did overeating become so common then ?
These thoughts kept bothering me. I asked myself at one point- Am I actually that vulnerable and weak? Am I so gullible that I cannot tap into my innate potential as a human being?
That is when I took on a 16 week promise to myself — that I would not choose what I “want to eat” and I would eat what I “should eat”. Those 16 weeks are still on going. And I will write about them when I am done.
But I want you to understand that even if you are “ predisposed” to wanting to overeat , the actual action of putting that food on your fork and into your mouth — that choice is still yours! That decision to not stop eating when you should or indulging in things which you know are harmful for you — that will always be your choice!
So what if generations in your family have had a habit, it does not mean you cannot change it.
You definitely can , because even though this is a “physical” change to your “physical” body and mind , the willpower and the strength to do that can come from your energetic and spiritual body.
I am not saying it is not difficult. It is . But it is not impossible. And you will see yourself change in so many good ways when you stop overeating, that you will wonder how could you even think that taste could actually be that important?
You will realise it was always a facade!
I can outright tell you 10 differences I have noticed in myself , since I stopped eating crap from outside, cooking at home and eating slowly so I do not overeat at any meal-
- I feel mentally healthy and my anxiety has been controlled.
- I feel at peace.
- I feel active and light.
- I have a regular sleep cycle.
- My periods have become regular.
- I can exercise more, I have more stamina.
- I have more mental clarity.
- I do not feel like stuffing myself any more.
- My cravings have decreased.
- I know and understand what my body wants and when.
I am not even going to mention weight loss because your weight and body composition is just a part of your lifestyle.
You can stop overeating today.
It is going to be difficult only for the first 3 days. Maybe 7 days . I promise you, never more than that.
You just have to be willing to give yourself that much time.
Before I wrap this up, you remember that I mentioned that dopamine is the key to all this.
Why?
Because dopamine is the key to habit formation in the brain and therefore the key to all sorts of patters including addictions in the brain.
Studies on habit loops have found that once a circuit has been formed in the brain , eg. overeating, it will never be erased from your mind completely. That is why people have a tendency to fall back to their old patterns once they slip.
However, studies also show that you can create new habit loops and new dopaminergic pathways by repeating a healthy pattern again and again — at least as many times as you repeated the unhealthy pattern. Makes sense right ?
Photo by Josh Riemer on Unsplash
Do that. Do not try to break the previous habits. Your body will not like that. Rather, build a new habit — and watch yourself succeed. Maybe take up a challenge for fun? How about you decide to not overeat for 12 weeks straight? Prove to yourself that for once you can be stronger than your sense organs. If you want, you can go back to stuffing your self after that.
Eventually every craving means that something else is controlling us— as a human that is a pitiable place to be in.
You can chose to be free. I did!
Free from the irrational control of my tongue over me . Or at least I am choosing that every day. Long standing habits do take time to change. But this sense of achievement -it is worth every bit of pain on this journey.
You never know — you might just help break generations of bad habits in your family and turn out to be the “chosen one” for your ancestry.
Step up. Chose freedom. Not slavery.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Fábio Alves on Unsplash
