Overthinkers Are the Worst Dates

Overthinking is the fastest way to imagine problems. And it creates issues when there are none.

Even though, I overthink situations a lot.

I have to say, overthinkers are a challenge to date. Here’s why.

You over-explain yourself.

Your motivations differ from those of other people. If someone can’t see your point of view, agree to disagree and move forward.

It gets heated when you try to change a person’s opinion. They hold on to their perspective more. Then, awkward silence stretches between the two of you.

You never know how someone will feel about a topic until you speak about it.

Yet, the concept is worth touching to get to know the person. Think of conversations as TikTok videos. You say the main points and drift to the next one.

You can’t expect romantic interests to see a situation the way you do. Or think dates will agree with you. If you don’t make differences a big deal, they remain small fires.

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You’re letting minor details consume you.

You’ll judge yourself harder than most strangers.

Our biggest enemy is within. The negative words of others make this internal monster or critic grow.

How you feel about yourself gives power to people’s words. Overthinkers take in the reactions and comments of the surrounding people.

With every statement or unexplained change, they get more self-conscious.

Confidence dwindles.

It’s not people’s responsibility to walk on eggshells around you. Try therapy or journaling. It gives you more control than hoping someone won’t make an inappropriate remark.

Illustration by iStockPhoto.com

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You make everything seem complex.

If you overthink situations, you think yourself out of moments and experiences.

It’s like you’ve spaced out while your date waits for you to rejoin the discussion. Your brain acts like a ringing phone on the side of the table.

Spacing out occurs for several reasons. But it affects your ability to read the signals your partner gives off.

Chances are the date went well. Your thoughts are ruining how you experience it.

You’ll have a better time if you ask questions, not make assumptions. Or change your position and watch if the person shifts to match your body language.

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You want more.

Happiness is a way to silence your mind.

Gratefulness makes positive events multiply. It also dampens the suck-ish quality of setbacks.

If you missed a chance to get a kiss, acknowledge that your date agreed to another dinner.

Appreciation gives you hope for a better future outcome.

Positivity allows you to make the best of fresh opportunities. Plus, having zero expectations makes good interactions come as a surprise.

If you often hope for more, choose joy. Someone not matching your energy is about them, not you.

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Overthinking Man Illustration by iStockPhoto.com

You get quieter with every intrusive thought.

Sometimes, the loudest action you can take is listening. But if you pull back from the conversation, give an explanation.

Growing quiet gives weird vibes, especially on a first date.

Use your words with intention. Make the person aware that you are listening to them. And you enjoy their stories.

If you want to feel good about yourself on a date, make your romantic interest happy. Energy is transferrable. And a genuine smile says a lot more than words ever could.

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You don’t treat dates with compassion.

Do you often jump to the wrong conclusions about people?

Do you write them off before they explain?

I hope you don’t picture the worst-case scenario every time. It leads to judgment and trust issues.

Begin by treating yourself with compassion. Accept your decision and who you were then. Give yourself a break because you are human. This approach helps you accept the minor mistakes of others.

Self-compassion allows you to entertain mild conclusions and human error. Try to think of how you make other people feel.

Thanks for reading!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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