White men are frequently told that they have significant privilege. Where white men are struggling to:
- keep a roof over their heads, and/or
- get necessary medical treatment, and/or
- cope with serious mental health issues, and/or alcohol/drug dependency,
and similar, such words may ring hollow. They may see women and/or BIPOC People who appear to have far more privilege than they have.
Class-status is important! A white man with little formal education and a household income of $40,000/year will readily see from his perspective, that being white and male doesn’t give him privilege. Many women and Black People clearly are economically doing much better than he is.
If I confront a fellow white man initially saying things to him like:
- You have significant white, male privilege,
- Black Lives Matter
- You ought to be ___
- You Republicans just don’t care
and similar, regardless of the truth of the statement, will rarely do more than ensure that this man will not hear anything more that I may say. Such statements say much more about me than him.
We need to find better ways of connecting with and influencing other white men! It helps to listen to their concerns and to show empathy. We need to try to find common ground, which may allow us to work effectively together. Building trust and rapport is important! Blindly pushing our ideas won’t help!
Many of us have significant privilege. We can and often do have “good lives”. We don’t need to seriously deal with systemic problems others are up against every day. We can enjoy our golf or tennis, and not concern ourselves with “politics”. Others can’t avoid racism, sexism and/or similar!
We face two levels of challenge with such men:
- getting them to see the importance of working seriously for change, and
- helping them find, and sustain, meaningful involvement in one or more causes.
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