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I woke up to a question from one of the guys in my High Value Male group asking, “Is there such a thing as punching above your weight?”
My response?
Yes and no.
Not the clearest answer on the planet but hear me out.
The value you place on a woman is based on the value you place on yourself.
So if you’re dating a woman where you think you’re punching above your weight, then it’s likely you’ll pedestal her and put yourself in the pit.
Picture this scenario: You’re at the pub and a drop dead gorgeous woman walks in. What’s the first thing you say to yourself? “She’s out of my league”? “I’ll never get a woman like that”?
If so, you’ve made a decision about her that’s just a reflection of your own sense of self-worth. You have no idea what she thinks, you’re deciding it for her … thus wimping out of the race before finding out if you could win the trophy.
You’re devaluing yourself and as a result, you’ll behave accordingly … which will likely get you ignored.
Why?
Because when you see something you believe is higher value because it’s rare or you have to compete for it, you’ll instinctively pedestal it. This is a survival instinct which triggers your competitiveness to get it. That’s where “survival of the fittest” comes in … and where other guys are winning over the women.
Problem is, the more attached you get to something, the more you’ll treat it as if it’s the most valuable thing you’ve ever had … which makes you clutch on tighter.
Now if you do this with a woman, she’ll probably run a mile. And if you live in scarcity mode like this, you’ll never be able to sustain a relationship.
What Creates Attraction Between 2 People Is Their ENERGY!
A man who’s done the work on himself by raising his value is a very attractive prospect to a woman … regardless of how he looks (but I’ll get to this point in a second).
A High Value Male projects that energy in the way he moves, behaves, his attitude, facial expressions, voice tone, interactions with others … and the way he thinks and feels about both himself & life in general.
Who you are and what you project comes from what’s going on inside your head.
And a lot of the time, the essence of who we are is tightly wrapped in insecurities and low self-worth, which we project onto other people.
This then feeds them information about us, so the way they treat us is in direct relation to how we treat ourselves.
Proper Treatment Of Yourself Is KEY
You don’t have to be a Channing Tatum lookalike … but the guy who’s fit, healthy, happy, well-groomed, has drive and takes care of his life is a VERY attractive prospect. Because he loves & values himself.
The guy who considers himself high value – and not in an arrogant way, but in an innate knowingness – will project that energy and women will be drawn to it.
If you believe you have nothing to offer a woman you think is ‘above your weight’, then she’ll move on pretty quickly (if she notices you at all). And why wouldn’t she?
If you don’t value yourself – and this will reflect in your attititude, looks and behaviors – then what’s gonna convince her to stick around?
All Women Want Is A Rich Guy … Or Do They?
A lot of men mistakenly think that all women want is a rich guy.
And yes, there’s a portion of the population who’ll go to the ends of the earth to nab one.
I dated a ‘rich guy’ once … and he became low-value in my eyes because he hadn’t done the inner work. He had low self-esteem & was passive aggressive; as a result, I lost attraction for him.
So the two don’t necessarily correlate.
The ‘rich guy’ thing is because the majority of successful men are deemed to be high value because they have the confidence. Success breeds a mindset, a level of being, where he understands within himself his own worth.
He’s often also got more options.
You Think She’s A 10, She Thinks She’s A 4 …
Understand that, just because a woman is beautiful … and a 10 in your eyes … doesn’t mean she feels that way herself. Her perceived value of herself could be a four; in that case, she has low self-esteem and devalues herself regularly.
So if you get in a relationship with her, she could become needy, clingy & demanding because of her own perceived inner value … and spray it out all over you.
Like with money for men, looks for women don’t necessarily correlate with high value.
How To Raise Your Value
Do the inner work. And that starts with how you think about, treat and see yourself. You need to stop pedestalling a woman just because she’s hot … she’s a human just like you & when you treat her as such, you’ll find that she might well be on your level.
Your high-value level that is.
Ains 🙂
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Originally Published on Reddit
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Photo Credit: Getty Images