Re-Evaluating Fathers Are Willing To Change

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Children comprehend and respond best when we are consistent in what we say, what we do, and how we respond to life. If our behaviors are destructive, we can cause thwarted growth in our children. Instead, we should be willing to make positive changes to ensure both their mental and physical health are improved and maintained to give them every opportunity to grow up and healthy, happy, productive citizens.

Every father should be aware of his children’s idiosyncrasies, habits, likes, dislikes, etc., which will often change as the children mature. As parents, we have to be attentive and involved for the remainder of our lives. There is no such animal as one-size-fits-all when it comes to loving and rearing our children. Each child possesses a unique personality. Our children are as diverse as we are in our skins. Keep in mind that their skin is not our skins, but it is our responsibility to help them focus and to help lead them to what is known as a normal healthy life and lifestyle.

The most crucial part of parenting is knowing who you are and be willing to make the necessary changes within ourselves when you recognize your own unhealthy behaviors such as uncontrollable anger, childlike tirades, avoiding conflict, passive aggressiveness or some overbearing personality trait. Remember: although it is not about you, what you do can and will make it not be about your children.

Is humility one of your attributes? If it is not, you may want to explore its many positive effects. Challenges are imminent and no matter how focused you are and how many accolades you receive as being a “good father,” mistakes will be made. Many men have made many mistakes and are doing everything humanly possible to win back their children’s trust. Others have spent years frustrated with work schedules that have kept them away from their children. Many things that fathers do is done allegedly “for the family.” We refuse to admit, “I am doing this for me and my family should be grateful.” Often we measure this as having had success as fathers not embracing the fact that this indeed may have been successful early. Our quest to conquer this monster called success may have assisted us in losing touch with our obedient, well-mannered children whom we really do not know.

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In our quest to be a re-evaluating father, we hold on to that ray of hope that is so prominent and promising when we open our eyes for the first time and see our children for the precious individuals that they are. We strive to get them to that brighter future and pray that at the end of the day we have done enough for them to sustain and proper.

Strategies for Re-evaluating Fathers

• Read a book that addresses an area of personal development for you: communication self-discipline, anger management, etc.
• Develop long-range goals for your fathering. Write them down; verbalize them to someone; review them periodically.
• Talk with your spouse about each of your children’s specific needs including what you’ll need to discuss with each one in the next six months.
• Commit yourself to a lifelong learning plan for your fathering.
• Buy breakfast or lunch for a father or two with older kids. Ask them what they would do again, and what they’d do differently.
• Sit down with your family and write a mission statement where you define or reaffirm your important life values.
• Form or join a group of fathers who meet regularly to share encouragement, accountability, and fathering insight.
• Inform your family, “I want to be a re-evaluating father.” Ask them for suggestions or ideas.

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